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1. Not Telling Them Your Traumatic Birth Story Before They Give Birth

You might mean well, but a minute-by-minute graphic retelling of your 72 hour labour resulting in emergency C-section and near-death isn’t as helpful as you think.

2. Or Giving Out Unsolicited Advice

Yes we know they’re hungry. No, they aren’t cold. We’re sure that is how they did it ‘in your day’, and we really couldn’t give a flying fuck you don’t like our baby name.
Oh, and it’s a boy, actually.

3. Supporting Their Feeding Choices

Breastfeeding, pumping, formula; all kids live on a diet of toast and chicken nuggets in the end, so does it really matter?

4. Not Dropping Round Unannounced

Not that you’re actually allowed at the moment, but post-lockdown; we’d recommend waiting until we were asked.

5. But When You Do, Be Helpful

We’ve probably got enough flowers but a pre-made lasagne would go down a treat. Extra points if you wash your cup up and fold some washing before you leave.

6. Understanding When She Doesn’t Text Back

She still loves you, but her mind is busy remembering which boob she fed off last so she doesn’t get mastitis and she’s living with a tiny human who has zero concept of night or day. The fog will lift eventually; until then, bear with her.

7. Share Your Reality

Endless night feeds scrolling through picture-perfect Insta feeds might make it look like every other mother has her shit together. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to say ‘this is really fucking hard sometimes’ to make her feel like she’s not alone.

8. Listening When They Want to Talk About The Baby

Hey, single friends! We know you don’t really care about sleep training or teething or whether the kid has crapped for 4 days or not. Thank you for pretending to be interested.

9. Tell Her She’s Doing A Good Job

We don’t get much of an appraisal from a newborn, and what with all the screaming in our faces and stuff, we can sometimes feel like a complete and utter failure.

10. Help Remind Her Who She Is When She’s Ready

Even if we get pissed after 2 glasses of prosecco and spend the entire evening sobbing whilst watching the live stream from the baby monitor.

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