Keeping Their Room Cool

The Gro-Egg is fucking furious. At this point, we wouldn’t be surprised if it started to emit steam and whistle like an old-fashioned kettle. We’ve considered investing in a Dyson fan, but we’ve not wasted £500 on something we’d only use for 5 days of the year since those heels we bought shortly before getting pregnant.

Always Wear Sunscreen

Unless you’re a baby under one, in which case apparently that’s not a thing. Instead, the advice is just to ‘keep them out of the sun entirely’ which is pretty bloody impossible unless you adopt the nocturnal habits of a hamster.

Heat Rash

Oh good, another random skin affliction for us to panic about.

Pin The Hat On The Baby

Can’t hold their head up properly, but can quite adequately swat off a bucket hat within 5 seconds of you putting it on.

I Can’t Get No Sleep

The Good News: Hot weather actually knocks kids out, so chances are they might actually sleep longer than usual. The Bad News: You’ll be waking up every 45 minutes to check they’re not too hot/cold/sweaty/dehydrated.

Babies and The Beach Do Not Mix

Pre-baby, you spent afternoons at the beach reading trashy novels and working on your tan. These days, you find yourself constantly shouting ‘DON’T PUT THE SAND IN YOUR MOUTH’ and adjusting the UV tent to track the path of the sun like a human sundial.

Bedtime Is a Minefield

Sleeping bag or no sleeping bag? Blankie or no blankie? Sleepsuit or no sleep suit? Every page on Google has a different answer.

Car Seat Meltdown

No matter which direction you’re driving in, you can guarantee this sun is piercing through the back seat window like a kid frying an ant with a magnifying glass.

Hydration Is Key

Except they can’t have water. Or is it just bottled water? And how bloody difficult is it to cool boiled water when it’s hotter than the sun outside?!

To Pram Or Not To Pram

We’d use the carrier, if we weren’t so worried about drowning them in our under-boob sweat. Those snooze shades look great, but they also feel like the inside of a balmy tent at V-Festival.