How Buying The Right Mattress Will Help YOU, And YOUR BABY Get A Better Night’s Sleep

As a new parent, buying the right bed for your baby is one of the biggest decisions you’ll make. It’s also one of the most exciting parts. Seriously, who doesn’t love a freshly decorated nursery?

But with every mum out there swearing their crib choice is the best, it’s hard to know which one to buy. *Spoiler alert, it’s totally up to you.

However, there is one thing the ‘Mum Brigade’ will all agree on, and that’s the importance of keeping your baby safe. They’d also do anything for a good night’s sleep.  

So, what if we told you that choosing the right mattress could give you both of those things?

And what’s more, that you could choose any style of crib or cot and know that your little one is sleeping safely?

Read on to find out how…

Why is a quality mattress so important?

One of the main concerns of new parents is how safe their child is when they sleep. And as newborns are unable to regulate their temperature, a lot of pressure is loaded on Mum and Dad to get things right. But before you start obsessing over central heating dials and whether you’ve dressed them in too many layers (trust us, you will), there is one thing you can sort right now. And that’s to make sure that your baby’s bed is safe and will discourage overheating. Not sure where to go? We are huge fans of Naturalmat mattresses as the materials they use are self-ventilating and help babies regulate their body temperature for a comfortable and healthy night’s sleep. Plus, you can trust that they know what they’re doing, as Naturalmat have been hand-making 100% natural and organic baby and children’s mattresses from their Devon workshop for over 20 years. They were also the first company in the UK to create a completely natural nursery mattress and have a strong belief system in using sustainable and carefully selected raw materials, including organic coir (coconut husk!), natural latex and organic lambswool, for supreme comfort and reliability.

How your baby’s mattress will help you both sleep better

If you can imagine, or remember, what it feels like to stay in a hot and poorly air-conditioned hotel room, then this is precisely what it feels like for your baby when their sleep environment becomes too warm. Ensuring that their mattress is made from natural and breathable materials will not only give you peace of mind and help you sleep better, but they will too.

Improve their sleep when you travel

Made your first trip away as a family and realised it doesn’t always go to plan? “Why aren’t they sleeping? We hear you scream! Well, is it any wonder when lots of pricey travel cots come with a pitiful mattress that could easily blow away in the wind? We wouldn’t want to go to bed on them either. Lucky then that our clever friends at Naturalmat have a solution for that too – their innovative travel cot mattress rolls up and provides a comfortable overlay for any cot. Available in four sizes based on parents’ most popular choices, you can also choose the option to have one tailor-made, so you know it’s the exact fit and match for your crib.

Take care of their skin

Another thing that all new Mums worry about is how to look after their baby’s delicate soft skin. With a plethora of products out there helping us to wash and soothe them safely, it’s essential that we extend this care to other elements, i.e. their clothing and bedding. Thankfully Naturalmat mattresses can be trusted for that too, as they are hypoallergenic and completely chemical-free. Plus, their unique blend of cotton and organic lambswool acts as a natural fire retardant (meaning no chemicals are used). And all their mattresses are treated with an all-natural anti-bed bug and dust mite formula, making them perfect for children with allergies or sensitive skin.

Ensure your stylish crib is safe

Found a raffia crib on Etsy but worried you won’t be able to find a mattress that fits? Or maybe you’re real fancy and have a family heirloom that you need a new mattress for. Naturalmat has a bespoke service that can be used to create a completely tailored made mattress that will fit whatever size, shape or style you choose. Problem solved.

The Mum Club members can get 20% off their first Naturalmat Baby mattress by using the code TMC20 at checkout when they place their order.

What our Mums say:

Just received my naturalmat quilted coco mats for my twins and couldn’t be happier. The quality of workmanship is evident and while the mattress itself is firm and supportive the quilted layer is so soft to touch and will be so cosy and comfortable. Communication with naturalmat throughout the ordering process was excellent and delivery was very prompt.

Sarah Hartery

Choosing the correct mattress for our brand new arrival was an important purchase for us as first time parents, doing research into the materials and chemicals used in some of the crib mattresses on the market, we started to look for a more natural and sustainable product. As soon as we found out about natural mat we fell in love with the brand, my partner has sensitive skin so for us having an organic mattress made from natural products and being chemical free for our baby was important. On arrival, the mattress was packaged beautifully and fit perfectly into the crib. It feels comfortable and supportive, we are extremely pleased with the product.

Harriet Devaney

Coping with Low Feelings and Winter Blues

It’s completely normal to experience low feelings from time to time. Especially when you’re a mum.

And often dips in your mood can be exacerbated by the arrival of crappy wintery weather.

So, what can you do to improve your mood when you can’t change a dark and gloomy day? 

A lot of things apparently!

Read on to find out what medical experts and wellness practitioners suggest might help pull you out of a slump.

1. Get out even for 15 minutes

Almost every medical expert agrees that going out for walks is one of the most effective ways to prevent conditions like winter blues and depression. However, we are quite aware that when you have a baby or toddler at home oftentimes a simple task like getting everybody dressed and out the house seems insurmountable. We know how tempting it is to just stay at home, get on top of the housework, and stay in the cosy confines of your home, but it’s so worth getting some fresh air and a dose of vitamin D from the little sunlight we’re likely to get during the winter. Research has shown time and time again that even 15-20 minutes of natural sunlight will help to reduce the symptoms of SAD and depression.

2. Stay connected

Loneliness and feelings of isolation can have such an impact on mums at the best of times, and that increases ten-fold in the winter months when we’re less likely to participate in regular outdoor social activities with other mums like park meet ups with the kids, day trips, and fun playdates. Dr Natasha Bijlani states the importance of staying connected even if digitally to stave off sadness. She says, “Be sociable where you can, even if that means remotely. Planning evenings or an afternoon talking with a friend, even if on the phone or Zoom, can be a really good way to give structure to your day and avoid loneliness and negative thoughts or feelings.”

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3. Talk to your GP

As mentioned, there are varying levels to seasonal affective disorder and winter blues, some may just suffer a slight dip in mood, while it may impact others more severely and lead to mental health challenges. If you’re feeling as if you’re veering towards depression and you just can’t shake it off, then it’s crucial you get in touch with your GP. Dr Rhianna McClymont, Lead GP at the digital healthcare provider, Livi, says, “You should speak to your GP if your symptoms are starting to affect your day-to-day activities and you’re struggling to cope. Arranging a consultation with your GP where you feel most comfortable, whether that’s visiting your surgery or booking a digital appointment, can help you identify the causes and access support and treatment.” She continues, “”If SAD is diagnosed, lifestyle measures such as exercising, using a light-box, eating nutritious food and sleeping properly may work for some people. For others, talking therapies such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) or counselling can help, and, in severe cases, antidepressants may be necessary.”

4. Up your vitamin intake

Sunlight contains the feel-good hormone serotonin which does wonders for our physical and mental wellbeing. The lack of sunshine goes some way in explaining why we feel sad and low during the winter, but with vitamin D supplementation you can help to replicate the goodness we soak up from sun rays. “When we are exposed to sunlight our body makes Vitamin D,” says Claire Snowdon-Darling, Head of The College of Functional Wellness and founder of kinesiology clinic, Balanced Wellness. “When we have less exposure to sunlight, we make less vitamin D and a deficiency has been associated with clinically significant depressive symptoms. Check with your Doctor or healthcare provider to make sure that Vitamin D is safe for you to take. If so, the most absorbable form is Vitamin D3.”

5. Cut down on carbs and caffeine

Grabbing for the biscuit tin or a buttery bagel is quite often our go-to foods when we’re in the midst of tending to the kids during our day-to-day routines. But try to minimise your intake of carb-heavy foods and replace with more nutritious choices to minimise the winter blues. “Despite our desire to consume more carbohydrates and comforting food in winter it is essential that we eat carefully”, says Claire Snowdon-Darling. “Avoiding processed foods which have been linked to low mood is important. The best thing we can do is make sure every meal has a good quality protein source and fats such as butter and olive oil alongside our green leafy veg.”

6. Curate a bedtime routine

Sleep may seem like a mythical concept right now if you’ve just had a baby or have a toddler that’s still not sleeping through the night. That’s why it’s important to focus on the quality of sleep opposed to quantity to prevent you feeling tired, teary and prone to emotional outbursts. “Consider purchasing a scented candle, pillow spray or incense that you only use at night-time to help you associate a specific scent with sleep” says Jessica Hanley, founder of homeware and loungewear brand Piglet in Bed. “Opt for calming essential oils such as organic lavender, frankincense and chamomile, all of which promote restful sleep and mood improvement. Piglet in Bed’s Calming Room and Pillow Mist is a great option for those who prefer natural scents which are free of parabens and artificial fragrances.”

TMC’s Top Sleep Aids To Help You Get A Better Nights Sleep

7. Consider light therapy

Light therapy works by artificially mimicking the light we get when we’re outdoors, and it’s a very well-established treatment for S.A. D. Claire Snowdon-Darling, Head of The College of Functional Wellness and founder of kinesiology clinic, Balanced Wellness, says, “Using a full spectrum lightbox is very effective for SAD. These are available online and range in price. Using a lightbox for 20 minutes a day can be very effective at minimising symptoms. The full spectrum light mimics sunlight without the UV.”

What causes SAD?

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a term believed to have been coined in the 80s by experts at the National Instituted for Mental Health and is a very specific condition where sadness and depression occurs usually during the autumn and winter months. Winter blues tends to be used interchangeably with SAD, and although it’s closely associated, it is in fact a milder version of the disorder and is characterised by generally feeling low as opposed to feeling depressed. While researchers can’t pinpoint the exact cause of seasonal sadness, most experts agree that the lack of sunlight and the accompanying mood booster serotonin causes our moods to plummet during the winter. Lack of serotonin also impacts our quality of sleep and hormones, thus creating a vicious cycle. Priory Consultant psychiatrist Dr Natasha Bijlani says, “It is well recognised that SAD may be related to changes in the amount of daylight during autumn and winter months, which can affect the levels of serotonin and melatonin in the brain that influence mood. During the night, the brain releases melatonin which contributes to making us feel drowsy and induces sleep. At daybreak, the effect of bright light, coupled with the natural rhythms of the brain, suppresses melatonin. In those susceptible to SAD, not being exposed to sufficient light, on dull winter days, can lead to the development of the symptoms of SAD.” The good news is there are ways to combat both S.A.D and winter blues by taking proactive steps towards safeguarding and prioritising your mental health.

The Best Toys and Times to Help Your Child Develop

Worried you’re not doing enough to help your little one progress? But you’re busier than ever and wondering how other Mums manage to fit it in?

We spoke to Christine Nicholls, the Co-Founder of Golden Bear Toys, to find out what she thinks are the best toys and times to help your child develop.

Let it come naturally

“Don’t overthink it”, says Christine. “A lot of what we do as parents is instinct, and there will be lots of times where you read a suggestion on what your child should be doing at a certain stage, and you’ll find you’ve already activated that choice on your own. At Golden Bear, we understand that all parents are busy, so we make toys that are not only fun and engaging to play with, but that also encourage development and work with a parent and child’s daily schedule.”

You don’t need extra time

“You don’t need to alter your schedule to inspire growth and learning”, says Christine Nicholls. “Encouraging development doesn’t have to be difficult or daunting. Instead of forcing in extra slots, I would utilise natural points throughout your day to help your child grow and learn. I’d say the best moments are ones that will always happen, like playtime, bath time and nap time”.

Why playtime is so important

Not just fun and games, toys can be an essential teaching tool that you can use to help your child learn physical, emotional, social, cognitive, creative, and communicative skills. Christine says, “Every time we create a toy at Golden Bear, we consider developmental milestones and how it can help a child to grow as well as have fun”.

In The Night Garden Musical Ninky Nonk Bubble Train, £37.
In The Night Garden Musical Ninky Nonk Bubble Train, £37.

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This is the perfect Christmas or birthday gift for children aged over 12 months. Based on the iconic Ninky Nonk Train from the In The Night Garden show. It has bright colours, textures, and music that stimulate senses and a bubble feature that is perfect for encouraging little ones to get up on their feet. The toy also enables children to place the characters around the train and post shapes through the sorter, which aids hand-eye coordination and improves motor skills.

Not a natural-born player?

“Don’t worry!” says Christine. “It’s very normal for playtime to feel a bit challenging at first. Hardly any of us are natural-born children’s entertainers, and playing and creating games comes with experience. This is why fun and interactive toys can be very beneficial, especially in the early years”. Not feeling that confident? Seek out a toy that includes an element of construction. Building is a great activity to do together, and many parents find it stimulating too. Try it with, In The Night Garden Pinky Ponk Build & Sort Vehicle, £16.

Pinky Ponk Building Blocks & Shape Sorter Vehicle Toy- £16
Pinky Ponk Building Blocks & Shape Sorter Vehicle Toy- £16

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Suitable for children aged 18 months+, this is a brilliant 3-in-1 toy based on the iconic Pinky Ponk from the In the Night Garden show. It can be built over and over again and is ideal for encouraging early shape recognition and helping to develop motor skills. The chunky components make it easy for little hands to pick up and play with ease, and the spinning propellor and squeaky nose can aid an understanding of cause and effect.

Keep bath time fun for everyone

“Bath time can be a vital tool, which helps indicate winding down for the day, but it can also be used as a moment to help your child develop”, says Christine. She adds, “Choose toys that inspire both you, and your children, as this will keep the love of bath time alive”. Baths getting a bit repetitive? Reignite the love with, In The Night Garden Igglepiggle’s Lightshow Bathtime Boat, £19.99, which is a wonderful toy that every child will love. Based on Igglepiggle’s boat that appears in the opening titles of the In The Night Garden show, it includes Igglepiggle pouring cups and shapes that fit inside the boat—making it an ideal tool to help with early shape recognition and aid dexterity. It also has colourful lights that illuminate the bottom of the bath and creates a pleasurable and calming experience ahead of that all-important bedtime routine.

Igglepiggle's Bath-time Lightshow Boat- £19.99
Igglepiggle’s Bath-time Lightshow Boat- £19.99

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Help them sleep better

Whilst improving language and reading skills, reading books before bed is a great way to wind down for the day, but they’re not the only thing you can use to signify sleepy time. Bringing out the same soft toy or comforter before bed solidifies a routine that will help your child drift off better. Not sure which one to get? Try In The Night Garden Snuggly Singing Soft Toys, £16.99 (each), which are beautiful toys made from a soft textured fabric that, once pressed, play gentle music to calm and stimulate your child’s senses. Each Snuggly Singing In the Night Garden Soft Toy plays their iconic song from the CBeebies TV show when you squeeze their tummy. Perfect for relaxing children at bed or nap time, they can also be used for comfort if your little one has a bit of a moment at some point in the day.

Snuggly Singers- £15.99
Snuggly Singers- £15.99

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What TMC Mums Say….

My son loves the build and sort vehicle and watched so intently as I put it together. Afterwards, he spent his own time figuring out how it came apart and how to put it back together and when he wanted help, he asked me to rebuild it for him. It’s an excellent tool for building cognitive skills and exploring creativity, and an entertaining toy to play with together. I gave him the snuggly singing toys before bed, and I was so surprised how quickly he bonded with them, cuddling each one and gazing at them lovingly. I was pretty shocked, as usually, he doesn’t interact with cuddly soft toys. I also noticed it really calmed him before bed, and instead of being upset to go in his sleep bag, he willingly went in – I wish I’d got them sooner”.

Lydia House

”The ‘In the night garden musical ninky nonk bubble train’ arrived at the most perfect time for a little boy needing entertaining and a baby girl who’s starting to work things out! There are so many different features to this toy that help at the crucial development stages for little ones. From shape sorters, to stacking cups, along with the fun musical elements it makes for a great all rounder to keep them occupied and entertained for longer! The added feature of the bubbles in one compartment whilst you pull the train along gives it the wow factor for my little boy- he’s been running round with it all morning!”

Harley Waller

Both of my boys (15 months & 3 years) love the build and sort (ITNG)vehicle. My youngest adores it! Pushing it along and making the best car sounds. After a while of watching his big brother pop the shapes into the holes and build it up to create the full vehicle he now copies and easily matches the shapes to the correct holes too!
Such a great toy for hand-eye coordination and has also helped my eldest with sharing and teaching his little brother.
The light up boat is now a firm favourite at bath time and in the evening when the lights are down.
I love how he just watches the light show in the water and on the walls, following the lights with his hands. The bubble blower Iggle Piggle is also wonderful!
Have already recommended both to friends.

Hannah Wheeley

Do I Really Need To Massage My Perineum Before Labour?

Nearing the end of your pregnancy and feeling all kinds of uncomfortable? Yep, we’ve been there! Those last few weeks can feel like an eternity. Most of the time, you just want to lie out on the sofa and hibernate with a shed load of snacks.

And then suddenly, your midwife presents you with a paper diagram and suggests now is a good time to start stretching your vagina.

*Erm… no thanks! 

But as much as it is 100% the last thing you want to do right now, massaging your bits can help with labour and ease the amount of recovery you have after birth.

Oh… but what even is the perineum? And where do you find it?

Well, to ease your mind and confusion, we’ve caught up with expert Pelvic Health Physiotherapists Emma Brockwell and Claire Bourne to help you navigate the situation.

What is the perineum?

It’s the area between the vagina and the anus, often vulnerable to vaginal tears during childbirth.

Why should we massage it?

“If you were about to take part in a big sporting event, you’d probably spend a long time preparing your body. You’d probably be having massages, physio and you’d be concentrating a lot of your time and effort on stretching and strengthening your muscles – all to prevent injury. But for some reason, even though labour requires a lot of strength and stamina, a lot of us decide to neglect our pelvic area completely and just hope for the best”, says Claire Bourne. “Try not to forget”, she advises, “It’s a good idea to spend some time working out your pelvic floor muscles and stretching your perineum before labour, as this will give your body a better chance at a successful birth with less injury and better recovery”.

When should you start massaging your perineum?

“I would suggest starting around 35 weeks and doing it for around 5 minutes every day or every other day,” says Claire Bourne. “It gets easier, I promise, and each time you do it, you will find you can add a little bit more pressure, or you can do it for a little bit longer”.

What should you use to massage your perineum?
What should you use to massage your perineum?

You want to use a natural oil that is fragrance-free, like vitamin e oil, almond, or olive. It’s important not to affect the natural balance of the vagina. So, using an oil like Nessa’s Vagina Victory Oil, £24, is excellent.

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How do you massage your perineum?

“It may feel a little uncomfortable and can give a slight burning sensation, but it should never hurt”, says Emma Brockwell. Here’s how to do it: 1. Make sure your hands are clean and your nails are short. 2. Place your thumb an inch inside the vagina 3. Gently sweep side to side (left to right) and get your body used to the touch. 4. Next time you massage the area, use your thumb to hold the stretch in position and work your way towards a 60-second hold, starting with a few seconds at first and increasing it each time. 5. You can also start to use two thumbs to work the area as time goes on. *When you do the holds remember to keep breathing”, says Emma Brockwell. Massaging your perineum creates the perfect opportunity to practice your breathing in preparation for birth.

How do you know if you’re doing it right?

“Go easy”, says Claire Bourne. “If this is your first baby, it is unlikely you will have stretched or touched this area in this way before. Your body is a lot more sensitive in pregnancy. You don’t want to cause actual pain to your perineum. It should just feel mildly uncomfortable”—a bit like a challenging yoga pose or a plank you’re holding for a long time.

Do gadgets that stretch your perineum work?

“I’m not convinced”, says Emma Brockwell. “There is little evidence around the use of these tools and their effectiveness. Better to do it yourself or ask your partner”.

Should my partner do it for me?

As your bump grows, it becomes a lot harder to reach your perineum, so yes, in an ideal world, ask your partner. However, a lot of women find this doesn’t really work out for them. Often mums say their partner either a) didn’t take it seriously or b) wanted to quit the massage and skip to having sex. Of course, sex can be great, especially if you’re hoping to bring on labour. But you might not be up for it every night. Instead, we suggest creating a calm environment for yourself. Have a nice bath, light some candles, and play some relaxing music. Then grab some pillows and get into a position that suits you. A lot of women like to use a mirror in front of them to see what they’re doing; some people like to stand up and others say it’s easiest on the loo. Hey, no judgement here, whatever works for you!

I still don’t get it. Is there a video I can watch?

Yep, there certainly is. Watch this video from Nessa featuring Claire Bourne, https://youtu.be/ceOAGdC5njk, and hopefully, the whole thing will become a lot clearer.

TMC Recipe Of The Week: Chicken Fajita Burrito Bowl

Recipe:

2 Boneless skinless chicken breast
1/4 cup Taco seasoning
1 tbsp Olive oil
1 Lime juiced
1 Red onion
1 Red bell pepper, sliced
1 Green bell pepper, sliced
1 Yellow bell pepper, sliced
2 Cups Brown rice, cooked
13.5 oz can black beans
1 Batch guacamole
Sour cream
Cilanto
Pico de gallo

Method:

In a large bowl make a marinade using the taco seasoning, olive oil and lime juice. Toss chicken and vegetables in marinade and allow to marinate, covered for 1 hour.

Preheat oven to 375°F.

Spread ingredients across pan and allow to bake for 15 minutes, or until meat is cooked through. If you want to add some char to meat and veggies, broil for another 3 minutes. In a bowl spread out rice and top with all desired fixings. Enjoy!

*Prep tip- Store all ingredients separately and build for meal prep. If making for lunch store the guacamole, sour cream, salsa and cilantro in a separate container than the rice, chicken and beans. Heat up the bowl and top with fixings!

Recipe from The Modern Proper

TMC Family Recipe Of The Week: Toffee Apples

Ingredients:

175g light brown soft sugar
100g golden syrup
1 tsp white wine vinegar
15g butter
4-6 dessert apples, skewered with forks

Method:

Heat the sugar, syrup and vinegar with 2 tablespoons of water in a heavy-based pan, gently swirling the pan until the sugar has dissolved.

Increase the heat and boil for 5-6 minutes, until the syrup reaches the ‘hard crack’ stage, at 150°C (see below). Remove from the heat and stir in the butter.

Swiftly dip each apple in the toffee, tilting the pan to create a deep pool of toffee and swirling the apples to get an even coating. Allow the excess to drip off each apple into the pan for a moment, then set them, fork up, on a lightly oiled plate and leave to harden.

For a delicious variation, stir 2 tablespoons orange extract and 2 tablespoons sesame seeds into the toffee with the butter.

Recipe from: Sainsburys Magazine

Secondary Infertility Is More Common Than We Think..

And Here’s What You Need To Know About It.

If you’ve been pregnant and given birth before with relative ease but are struggling to conceive the second time around, you may be experiencing a condition called secondary infertility. Medical experts define secondary infertility as a couple who have been actively trying to have a baby without success for over 12 months.

So why is it that for some of us things will be considerably difficult or near impossible the second time around? Dr James Hopkisson, Medical Director at the TFP Fertility Group   offers the following explanation. “Secondary infertility is thought to be as common as primary infertility”, he says. “One in seven to one in eight couples will need to see a doctor about secondary infertility. There are many causes of secondary subfertility which become apparent when investigating a delay. Some instances include male factor infertility such as impaired sperm production, and female factors such as anovulation and tubal disease. As women get older the chances of conception also decrease, so individuals do need to be mindful as to when to start trying to conceive again.”

So, let’s take a look at some of these common causes in closer detail.

Anovulation and tubal disease

Anovulation refers to when your egg doesn’t release during your menstrual cycle and its one of the leading causes of infertility in women. It’s believed to be caused by hormonal interruptions and the leading sign of it is when you miss a period. Anovulation problems can be treated with medication and by implementing lifestyle changes. Tubal disease is a disorder where blocked or damaged fallopian tubes prevents the egg from travelling from the ovary to the uterus causing infertility. Common causes of tubal disease include endometriosis, or infection or damage to the fallopian tube as a result of surgery. Another medical issue that hinders the chance of becoming pregnant is fibroids. Uterine fibroids are growths that form and surround the uterus and they can be minute in size or larger than an orange. Fibroids have been known to minimise the flow of sperm, block the fallopian tubes, or make it difficult for the blood to flow to the uterus rendering it difficult for embryos to become implanted on the uterus walls to create a viable pregnancy.

Impaired sperm production

If you as a couple are finding it a challenge to get pregnant naturally it’s always worth remembering that the issue doesn’t always come from female reproductive organs. Sometimes the sperm production is impaired, and the quality or quantity of the sperm produced is not being robust enough to fertilise the egg. The good news is that these issues can usually be rectified by making dietary and lifestyle changes. Men are urged to reduce their alcohol intake and stop smoking – just two of the factors that can reduce sperm count. It’s also believed that certain medications can interfere with healthy sperm production so men should definitely discuss this with their GP should they decide to start the process of investigation when trying to conceive. Also, your significant other will probably be delighted to learn that experts now state that having lots and lots of sex increases your chance of getting pregnant as explained by HRH Dr Nauf AlBendar, founder of The Womb Effect and a medical scientist who specialises in men and women’s fertility. She says, “While men have previously been advised to have less sex to increase the chances of pregnancy, the opposite is true. For healthier sperm, there needs to be frequent sex around the ovulation period. This could make all the difference in starting a family. Research has found that semen produced within 1-3 hours of a man’s most recent ejaculation were faster and more mobile than those produced by men who abstained for several days. It has also been shown that the increase in sexual activity even in non-fertile days may cause a woman’s body to promote types of immunity that support conception.”

Emotional blocks

While we often look for physical issues when it comes to identifying challenges associated with conception, we often overlook the fact that there may be psychological blocks that play a part too, especially if a woman’s experience of pregnancy and childbirth the first time round has been particularly difficult. HRH Dr Nauf AlBendar, says, “According to research, many cases of infertility are rooted in emotional problems. There are several subconscious blocks such as negative feelings towards pregnancy, birth or motherhood/fatherhood that can impede fertility. Past abuse or trauma can also wreak havoc with one’s emotional well-being thus impacting fertility. It is important to talk to a professional or have access to a clinical hypnotherapist that can help.”

Age related egg fertility decline

Data on fertility in relation to a woman’s age is always changing, but within the medical profession it’s still believed that a woman’s fertility declines rapidly from the age 35. With this in mind, age must be considered if you had your first child before the age 35 and are trying for baby number two at an older age. “The definition of secondary infertility is when a woman has already had a child at an earlier stage, but the second pregnancy is, despite unprotected sexual intercourse, at least a year later” explains Dr. Niels van de Roemer, Medical Director at Daysy, the fertility tracking app. “In the mid-30s and 40s, the probability of pregnancy decreases every year. Thus, the age difference alone between the conception of the first child and the second child may play a role.”

Tips from Dr. Niels van de Roemer on how to increase our chance of conceiving a second child

If you smoke, it is recommended that you take advantage of this opportunity to quit smoking and any excessive consumption of alcohol. It has been proven that smoking is not only harmful for your baby, but also reduces female fertility. Statistically speaking, it takes twice as long for women who smoke to have children.

It makes sense to eat a healthy and balanced diet even before pregnancy to provide yourself and especially your baby with all the nutrients you need. Furthermore, pregnant women, but also women who want to conceive, are advised to take certain dietary supplements. Experts recommend folic acid and vitamin D, for example.

Keep yourself fit. Exercise creates a feeling of well-being, and this has a positive effect on your hormone balance. But don’t overdo it with sports! Competitive sports with permanent physical stress can postpone or even suppress ovulation and reduce fertility.

To become pregnant, women should have unprotected intercourse on the day of ovulation and the five days prior. Sperm can survive in the female body for a maximum of five days (but usually for a fewer number of days), so couples should plan intercourse shortly before and on the day of ovulation to significantly increase the chances of getting pregnant. A scientific study has shown that 81% of the women who had tracked their cycle and planned sexual intercourse accordingly were pregnant within six months.

TMC Family Recipe Of The Week: Bacon & Egg Muffins

Ingredients:

salted butter 25g, melted, plus extra for the tin
smoked streaky bacon 6 rashers, diced
mature cheddar 100g, grated
plain flour 150g
baking powder 1 tsp
bicarbonate of soda ¼ tsp
chives 1 small bunch, finely snipped whole milk 125ml
natural yogurt 100g
egg 1 medium
quail’s eggs 6

Method:

Heat the oven to 180C/fan 160C/gas 4. Butter 6 holes of a large muffin tin. Put the bacon in a cold frying pan and cook gently for 5-10 minutes or until golden and crisp. Tip out onto kitchen paper.

Mix together the cheddar, flour, baking powder, bicarb and chives in a large bowl, and season.

Whisk together the melted butter, milk, yogurt and egg in a bowl. Add the bacon to the wet ingredients, then mix into the dry, until just combined. Divide slightly less than 1/2 the batter between each muffin tin hole, making a dent in the middle (we used the underside of a tablespoon measurer). Carefully crack a quail’s egg into each, then cover with the rest of the batter (add spoonfuls around the egg, with the last on top).

Bake the muffins for 15-20 minutes or until golden brown. Cool for 5 minutes in the tin, then carefully turn out onto a wire rack to cool for another 5 minutes before serving.

The Best Maternity Clothes On The Highstreet.

All products on this page have been selected by our editorial team, however we may make commission on some products.

The great maternity wear debate- to buy or not to buy? There comes a point, if you’d like to leave the house, where you have to invest in a few items. Our tip is make sure you’ll get a few pregnancies out of them, if not yours then a hand me down or two! Here are our favourites on the highstreet right now.

Keep It Comfortable

Into The Office

Out And About

Sick And Tired Of It – How To Cope With Hyperemesis Gravidarum (Excessive Nausea In Pregnancy)

When I was pregnant with my first child, my morning (noon and night) sickness routine was as regular as clockwork. I’d throw up as soon as I woke up, and once again just after 5pm in the evening. At my workplace, I recall those ever-so-stressful days of swiftly packing my belongings before the clock struck 5, saying a quick goodbye to my colleagues, before dashing to the toilets to bring up the contents of my lunch up. It was awful, and it went on for months. At the time I remember thinking if this is what pregnancy is like I don’t intend to ever do this again.

Looking back, my situation was mild in comparison to what some women have to endure while pregnant. In truth, most of us mums have had our fair share of pregnancy sickness horror stories. But spare a thought for those women who experience a sickness so severe and unrelenting that it can last throughout the entirety of their pregnancy.

Hyperemesis gravidarum is a medical term given to women who experience excessive nausea during pregnancy. It manifests as severe nausea and frequent vomiting (four times a day or more) and can be accompanied by other symptoms such as dehydration, constant dizziness, and even weight loss. Unlike traditional morning sickness, Hyperemesis gravidarum is less common and is said to affect 1 to 3 in every 100 women according to nhs.gov. The sickness can become so debilitating that some women may require hospitalisation. The condition may not improve or clear up until the baby is born but may subside at around the 20-month mark.

What causes hyperemesis gravidarum

Experts still have no definitive explanation as to why hyperemesis gravidarum occurs. The most common theory is it’s caused by rapidly rising levels of hormones specifically oestrogen and human chorionic gonadotropin, which is the hormone created by the placenta. There is some evidence to suggest that HG may also be a condition that runs in families, so if you have a mother or sister that experienced it, you may be more likely to get it as well. Similarly, if you had it during a previous pregnancy, you may get it again during your next unfortunately.

Morning sickness vs hyperemesis gravidarum

With up to 80% of women suffering from nausea and vomiting during pregnancy, it can feel like hell when you’re in the midst of it, and some women may in fact wonder if they are themselves experiencing this particularly intense and extreme form of pregnancy related nausea. Lesley Gilchrist, registered midwife, and co-founder of My Expert Midwife is keen to emphasise that there is a clear distinction between the two. She says, “While most women find their morning sickness eases after the first trimester unfortunately, 1-2% of women will develop hyperemesis gravidarum, which can cause severe dehydration and hospitalisation. Hyperemesis gravidarum is diagnosed when a patient’s wellbeing and ability to have a normal lifestyle are compromised due to the sickness and nausea they are experiencing.” So, what are some of the things women need to look out for if experiencing sickness during pregnancy? “Women should seek help as soon as possible if they experience any of the following symptoms: you are unable to keep down any food or fluids for 24-48 hours, you are not passing any or very little urine and it is dark in colour, or you feel weak or faint and not able to stand up for any length of time.”

The mental toll

The physical symptoms associated with hyperemesis gravidarum are pretty much well-documented within the medical profession, but what isn’t discussed as much is the mental toll that this condition has on women. The hormonal and bodily changes experienced during pregnancy are overwhelming enough, no matter how many times you’ve given birth. So when you add this distressing condition to the equation, it can seem like too much to bear. Dr Carla Runchman is a clinical psychologist and two-time sufferer of HG in pregnancy who states that it’s equally important to discuss the psychological elements of the condition, so women won’t feel so isolated when experiencing it. She says, “A key aspect, often overlooked at medical appointments, is the crushing loneliness of HG. You are typically shut off from your normal routine, work and socialising. Well-meaning friends and family might not ‘get it’ and make well-meaning but ultimately undermining comments about ‘morning sickness’ or, worse, ginger biscuits. Women can be on their own, feeling dreadful, for long periods, and this can lead to rumination – when thoughts end up in a negative spiral. This happens because you are feeling low, due to the nausea and the limiting impact on your life, and the fact that you are left alone with your thoughts.” With such an utterly depressing assessment of the situation, how does Dr Carla suggest we implement mechanisms to cope? “From a psychological point of view, if you are feeling out of control (which is understandable in HG), try finding something that helps occupy your mind, and gives you a sense of control, however small. Can you try a repetitive but easy activity like crochet (I have several crocheted blankets that unfortunately now make me nauseous at the sight of them!). Your partner can help; what would make you more comfortable? Simple things like having fresh bedding every day, or supplies of whatever food/drink you can get down, or a book/magazine to read can make a huge difference to how you are feeling.”

Treatments available

Thankfully there are also treatments available now that can help to lessen the physical symptoms of hyperemesis gravidarum and they include anti-sickness drugs, vitamins B6 and B12 and/or steroids. If the symptoms are unable to be controlled at home and the excessive vomiting continues, a more invasive approach can be taken with treatment being administered intravenously directly into a vein through a drip. “If you are admitted to hospital for treatment, a doctor will assess you, and a plan of care will be made for your needs”, explains Lesley Gilchrist, registered midwife. “Although treatments can temporarily relieve symptoms, it is common for them to return. If you are diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum you can expect to be offered an anti-emetic (anti-sickness) medication via an injection until you can tolerate this in tablet form. You may also be offered intravenous fluids (IV fluids) to rehydrate you whilst the right medication is found to help ease your sickness.” Although it’s easy for someone not going through it to say this – it’s crucial to remember that there is an expiration date on this condition, and there will become a time that you no longer have to endure it. In the meantime, we hope you find the strength and will to cope if you’re currently in the thick of it.

TMC Family Recipe Of The Week: Mary Berry’s Butternut squash soup.

There are a few things that say ‘Autumn is here’ to us. One, is Bake Off, the other is soup. So why not combine the two with this delicious Butternut Squash Soup by Queen BO herself Mary Berry. Of course, don’t forget the huge white baguette and lashings of butter.

Ingredients

1.5kg/3lb 5oz peeled and deseeded butternut squash, cut into 3cm/1¼in cubes (see tip) 1 large onion, roughly chopped 2 medium carrots, peeled and chopped 1 red pepper, deseeded and cut into cubes 4 tbsp olive oil 1 tbsp clear honey (optional) 5cm/2in piece fresh root ginger, peeled and chopped 1.5 litres/2½ pints vegetable stock salt and freshly ground black pepper

Method:

Preheat the oven to 200C/180C Fan/Gas 6.
Tip the prepared squash into a large, resealable freezer bag with the onion, carrots and red pepper. Add half the oil and salt and pepper and toss everything together until the vegetables are evenly coated. Tip into a large roasting tin and spread out to form a single layer.
Roast in the oven for 40–45 minutes, or until tender and tinged brown. Drizzle over the honey, if using, 5 minutes before the end of cooking.
Place the large, deep-sided saucepan over a medium heat, add the remaining oil and, when it is hot, add the ginger and fry for a minute. Pour in the stock and bring to the boil, then stir in the roasted vegetables and add salt and pepper.
Remove the saucepan from the heat and, using a hand blender, blend the mixture until smooth. Return to the heat to warm through and serve hot with crusty bread.

In Defence Of The ‘One And Done’ Mum – Ending The Stigma Around Having One Child By Choice.

We’ve come a long way as a society when it comes to social etiquette. Most of us now know it’s super insensitive, impolite, and intrusive to ask a woman why she hasn’t had kids, or ask unmarried couples why they haven’t tied a knot. But there’s one niggly social faux pas that hasn’t quite been fully extinguished just yet, and that’s asking women who have one child ‘when’ they are planning on having another one. I’m sure many of us have experienced this it at one point, and as well meaning and benign it may appear on the surface, it’s actually seriously annoying, and shows a complete lack of sensitivity and awareness of social boundaries. There are a multitude of reasons why women choose to only have one child. Perhaps they had a traumatic birthing or post-natal experience and feel ill-equipped to deal with it again. Perhaps it’s due to lack of financial resources. Perhaps they have fertility issues or had children later in life and are unable to have additional children. Or just maybe, they’ve always envisioned just having one child, and that’s more than adequate to make their family complete. Each reason is valid.  And although they don’t owe anyone an explanation, here are some of the things that women who choose to have one child wants the world to know…

Being an only child doesn’t make them spoilt

One of the prevailing stereotypes of only children is that of the spoilt, irrational brat a la Veruca Salt who is so used to his/her parents tending to their every whim that they struggle to regulate their bad behaviour. This is an outdated belief that needs to be eradicated. A parent’s ability to raise a child who has all the qualities we deem as desirable in society – kindness, consideration for others, integrity – has nothing to do with the number of times you choose to give birth, and everything to do with the values you instil in that child as an individual. In fact, studies show that children often benefit from having a parent’s undivided attention in a positive manner which manifests in them having a healthy self-esteem, emotional intelligence and a strong sense of identity.

It’s not a selfish decision

Ahh, this old chestnut. I’m pretty sure parents raising their single child have either heard this expressed to them explicitly or implied in one way or another. First of all, we have to get past this notion that a 2 parent 2.5 children household is the only paradigm for a healthy, functioning family. Single child families are equally as beautifully enriched as those with larger numbers. Furthermore, I think we can all agree that the decision to have another child should be determined by the woman and man involved and nobody else. Having another child simply because society says you should, or you feel guilty because your fear your single child will suffer, is a one course to emotional turmoil, and potential underlying resentment for the child that was conceived as a result of other peoples’ expectations.

Only child doesn’t = lonely!

There’s another outdated belief that only children tend to be lonely and in turn struggle in social settings when among other children due the absence of a sibling. Again, this is another misconception. Single children are often able to form friendships and bonds with people of all ages. Going back to that confidence/ self-esteem thing – single children are often used to entering social spaces and having to make an effort to befriend other children on their own, which let’s face it, is something that even us as adults struggle with. Furthermore, studies show that only children spending time alone has many positives in terms of creativity and imagination, and they quickly become adept at learning how to keep themselves entertained independent of others.

Having one child gives parents financial stability

Let’s keep it 100% real – having children is bloody expensive, and is likely to be a huge factor when it comes to those who choose to have just one child. And who can blame them? The cost of childcare continues to rocket, with the average cost of a full-time nursery place for a child under two is a little over £13,700. And when it comes to the average cost of raising a child from birth to 18, according to Child Poverty Action Group parents can expect to fork out £71,611 for a couple family and if you are a lone parent family a staggering £97,862. Add to that, there still remains a motherhood tax that lingers in society, with women who have children facing disadvantages relating to salary, hiring discrimination, lack of promotion, and having to bear the brunt when it comes to childcare and managing the home. So, with that said, it’s hardly surprising that families are shrinking and the choice to have one and done is becoming more and more desirable for many women. So instead of casting judgment against women for choosing to only have one child maybe as a society we need to start looking inwardly and consider the reasons why.

The Lowdown On ‘Stress Urinary Incontinence’ And How to Overcome it.

So, you’ve had your baby. Thankfully all is well, and you’ve instantly fallen head over heels with your little bundle of joy. As part of your post-natal recovery, you try to fit in as many pelvic floor exercises as possible, and yet, ever so often you have the sudden urge to pee, and you have to dash Usain Bolt style to the toilet to prevent an accident. Worse still, whenever you find yourself in fits of laughter after meeting up with the girls, you experience a bit of leakage, but you feel too ashamed to admit it. Sound familiar? If so, you could be suffering from female incontinence aka stress urinary incontinence, and you are certainly not alone. “Stress urinary incontinence is a common condition affecting an estimated 30% of women worldwide,” says Mr Paul Fiadjoe FRCOG, Lead Consultant Urogynaecologist at Mid and South Essex University Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust. “Two thirds of these women suffering from SUI do not seek help. It can occur at any stage of life, with risk factors including pregnancy and childbirth, obesity, menopause and ageing. It is caused by a weakness in your pelvic floor, preventing your urethra (the tube that urine comes out of) from closing fully when sudden pressure is put on your bladder, causing leakage. SUI is the most common bladder control problem in young and middle-aged women.”

SUIs can affect you during any time of your life

The severity of stress urinary incontinence differs from one individual to another. Some women may find that a bit of urine leaks when they laugh, cough, sneeze or lift something heavy. Other women may find they experience the sudden urge to use the toilet, and when they reach, they discover that they’ve leaked much to their distress. Contrary to belief, stress urinary incontinence can occur at any time during a woman’s life, not only after they give birth. Wendy Gough shares her story of the factors that led her to having a sacral nerve implant to control/cure her overactive bladder, which had impacted her since childhood. She says, “At age 34 I fell pregnant with our daughter. My family and friends were concerned given my history of incontinence how this would affect my condition, but I suffered with no UTI’s, no incontinence and carried my daughter full-term. My daughter was a breach so I had to have an emergency caesarean. This gave me a new lease of life, for the first time in my life I was not having to worry about having an accident. However, when my daughter was 18 months old and ironically, we started potty training her, my symptoms returned. I had recurring UTI’s frequency, urgency and no control. It was very difficult to explain to a child that if she needed to go to the toilet she needed to let us know a good time, when you can’t do that yourself.”

How it relates to pregnancy and childbirth

While its true that SUI can occur at any time, there’s no denying that pregnancy and giving birth can stretch and weaken the pelvic muscles so those pelvic floor exercises that everyone from your midwife, health visitor to your Mum keeps bleating on about are crucial to improving and maintaining good pelvic health. “Pelvic floor muscle training can dramatically help to reduce the symptoms of stress urinary incontinence in most women, particularly when put into practice in the early days/weeks following childbirth when performed on a daily basis,” explains Mr Paul Fiadjoe FRCOG, Lead Consultant Urogynaecologist. “There still remains a certain stigma attached to stress urinary incontinence, despite it affecting so many women. More awareness and education among women generally, but particularly among pregnant women and new mums is needed to help prevent women suffering the often-debilitating effects of SUI, which can also greatly affect levels of confidence and self-esteem and cause much anxiety and even depression among some women.”

The treatments available

Due to the sensitive nature of SUI many women decide to suffer in silence rather than see their GP about their symptoms. However, if left untreated, the condition is likely to worsen resulting in continual urinary tract infections, skin irritation to more serious conditions like kidney damage. Thankfully there are a number of treatments available that can help to alleviate the symptoms of SUI, and if traditional methods of physio and pelvic floor exercises aren’t doing the job, there are innovative, alternative treatments available like bladder neck bulking and implantation treatments. Vix Williams had suffered with SUI throughout her childhood and young adult life and had reached the point where it became a source of frustration until she opted for a bladder neck bulking procedure named Bulkamid, a water-based hydrogel that’s administered intravenously to minimise symptoms. She says, “It was only when I got into fitness and noticed straight away that I would leak whenever I did anything jumping up or down or too strenuous. I just thought it’s what happens after having kids and getting older. But the final straw was when I struggled to improve the weights in my weight-lifting – I would hold myself back and not really push for a personal best as I knew I would wet myself in doing so. It was so frustrating as I had finally discovered a sport I was potentially good at. Luckily, I had heard about bladder-neck bulking procedure and my consultant suggested I tried it. It has totally transformed my life especially in my weight-lifting.”

As all parties interviewed for this feature have stressed the importance of seeking medical intervention as quickly as possible. As Wendy says, “I’d advise women to push their GP for a referral to a specialist. You do not have to live with incontinence, there are lots of therapies out that that can give you back your life. My life has changed since having implant treatment, I am a much more confident person.”

Dealing With Postpartum Hair Loss

Postpartum hair loss is undoubtedly a by-product of the post-pregnancy experience that no one asked for. It is defined as consistent hair loss that typically occurs after giving birth at an approximate rate of 400 hairs per day (the average amount of hair we shed when we’re not pregnant is 80-100 hairs per day). The shedding is caused by a dip in our oestrogen levels and experts agree that it’s not true hair loss as we know it to be, as it’s direct consequence of the hormonal changes experienced during pregnancy and often balances itself out when our levels of oestrogen return. “During pregnancy more hairs enter the resting phase of the cycle” explains Dr Sophie Shotter,  Skin and Hormone Doctor and Medical Director of Illuminate Skin Clinic. “Once you deliver more hairs once again enter the growth phase, which causes shedding. This should return to normal within a few months of delivery.”

Even though it may be a temporary condition it doesn’t make it less distressing and frustrating when it occurs. Thankfully there are a range of treatments available now that help to minimise and treat postpartum shedding. These include the following:

The best treatments for postpartum hair shedding

Vitamins and supplements

After you give birth it’s so important to eat a well-balanced diet to keep your energy levels up and replace any nutrients that may have been depleted, especially during breastfeeding. Vitamin supplements are really useful in ensuring you get your recommended dose of nutrients so your body won’t be running on empty. There are a number of supplements that target postpartum hair loss, look out for products that contain biotin, zinc and vitamins A, C, D, E. Dr Sophie Shotter, adds: “There are lots of products available, but my personal favourite is Viviscal Professional. Not only does it include Biotin and other vitamins essential for hair growth, but it also contains a proprietary marine protein which has 11 published papers proving that it stimulates hair growth. I use this alongside other treatments for several of our hair patients.”

Hair rejuvenating treatments

While vitamins and a healthy balanced diet will help to treat post-pregnancy hair shedding, it often takes a bit of time to see the results. Hair shedding often occurs between the 3-6 after giving birth and starts to tail off around the 6-month mark. If you’re finding that your hair loss is excessive, or it’s taking longer to grow back than you’d like, there are a number of innovative treatments that take a more invasive approach. Dr Sophie Shotter outlines some of the options:

  1. PRP
    “This uses the patient’s own blood which has been centrifuged to produce a fluid containing a high concentration of platelets. Once injected into the tissue these platelets release growth factors, which stimulate hair growth. Results will depend on the quality of that individual’s platelet function and can be affected by smoking or having a glass of wine the night beforehand, for example.”
  2. Growth Factors
    “There are some products available that contain growth factors in solution. Injecting these can stimulate hair growth over a course of treatments. These can be injected or micro-needled into the scalp.”
  3. Mesotherapy
    “Mesotherapy contains the nutrients needed to support hair growth – vitamins, minerals and peptides are essential for health hair growth, and mesotherapy allows these to be delivered straight into the scalp via needling or micro-needling. The mesotherapy treatments can lead to improved hair density.”
Strand boosting shampoos

In terms of your haircare routine, shampoos and other hair products can help to minimise post-natal hair shedding. Specially formulated cleansers like volumizing shampoos can help to make the hair look and feel thicker. Budget-friendly buys such as The Tresemme Collagen & Fullness Collection, OGX Thick & Full Biotin & Collagen Shampoo, are infused with strand boosting ingredients like collagen, biotin and glycerine that penetrate inside the hair and plumps each strand to give the hair a boost. Award-winning haircare brand Philip Kingsley has an exemplary track record when it comes to creating products that treat the hair and scalp. Its award-winning Tricotherapy range is specifically created to address thinning and hair loss, with it’s multi-step regimen that energises the scalp and helps to encourage hair growth. If you have Afro textured hair, check out the Mielle Rosemary & Mint collection, which features Mielle Rosemary Strengthening Shampoo, £9.99, and other products infused with biotin to promote hair growth, as well as mint and rosemary known for increasing blood circulation to stimulate the scalp.

If you’re still experiencing hair shedding 6 months after you’ve given birth, and you’re concerned, it’s definitely worth scheduling an appointment with your GP or trichologist as there could be an underlying issue that hasn’t been identified, such as thyroid issues known to affect some women after they have a baby.