1. Keeping Their Room Cool

The Gro-Egg is fucking furious. At this point, we wouldn’t be surprised if it started to emit steam and whistle like an old-fashioned kettle. We’ve considered investing in a Dyson fan, but we’ve not wasted £500 on something we’d only use for 5 days of the year since those heels we bought shortly before getting pregnant.

2. Enjoying the Sun

The advice is to keep babies out of the sun, which is pretty bloody impossible unless you adopt the nocturnal habits of a hamster. Cue: 11 different orders for pram fans, shaded paddling pools, tents and a snooze shade – which btw feel like the inside of a balmy tent at V-Festival.

3. Heat Rash

Oh good, another random skin affliction for us to panic about.

4. Their Hats Never Stay On

They can’t hold their head up properly, but they can quite adequately swat off a bucket hat off within 3 seconds of you putting it on.

5. You Won’t Sleep

The Good News: Hot weather actually knocks kids out, so chances are they might actually sleep longer than usual.
The Bad News: You’ll be waking up every 45 minutes to check they’re not too hot/cold/sweaty/dehydrated.

6. Babies and The Beach Do Not Mix

Pre-baby, you spent afternoons at the beach reading trashy novels and working on your tan. These days, you find yourself constantly shouting ‘DON’T PUT THE SAND IN YOUR MOUTH’ and adjusting the UV tent to track the path of the sun like a human sun dial.

7. Bedtime Is a Minefield

Sleeping bag or no sleeping bag? Blankie or no blankie? Sleepsuit or vest?
Damn it where’s that picture ‘Knows everything Nancy’ sent last month of the NCT group? *Scrolls back 2323534 messages.

8. Driving in the Car is Stressful

No matter which direction you’re driving in, you can guarantee the sun is piercing through the back seat window like a kid frying an ant with a magnifying glass.
Meanwhile you’re cursing the fact you keep forgetting to buy a car window shade, even though 25 Amazon parcels arrive at your house daily.

9. Hydration Is Key

Except they can’t have water. Or is it just bottled water? And how bloody difficult is it to cool boiled water when it’s hotter than the sun?

10. Breastfeeding Takes on a Whole New Level of Fun

If the heat of a small human on your body for 45 minutes doesn’t make you pass out. There’s a minor concern we might drown them in our under-boob sweat.
*Sitting in front of a fan to feed is the only option.