Home > Health > Mind > Why Is Paying for Help Still a Parenting Taboo?

When you have a baby, your world shifts in ways you can’t fully anticipate. The exhaustion, joy, chaos, and love form a whirlwind of emotions, often leaving parents stretched too thin. Yet, a peculiar stigma surrounds asking for or hiring help during this transformative time.

It’s as if admitting we need support is a sign of weakness or failure as parents. But why? And what if we started looking at paid help as a wise and empowering choice rather than a luxury to be judged?

Why Is Parenting Harder Today?

In the past, raising children was a communal effort. Families lived closer together, neighbours pitched in, and societal norms embraced a “village” mentality. Today, many parents live far from extended family, work demanding jobs, and feel the pressure to ‘Do it All’! Social media often amplifies these pressures, depicting flawless parenting with home-cooked meals, spotless houses, and thriving careers.

The truth? Parenting is hard. And trying to meet unattainable standards is unrealistic and can lead to burnout.

The Benefits Of Hiring Help

Hiring help, whether it’s a cleaner, nanny, night nurse, or postpartum doula, can transform the early days of parenting. Here’s how:

  • Improved Mental Health
    Sleep deprivation is no joke. A night nurse can ensure you get a full night’s rest, which directly impacts your mood, mental clarity, and ability to bond with your baby.
  • Time for Yourself
    Having someone to take care of household tasks or babysit gives you the space to focus on yourself- whether that’s taking a shower, enjoying a quiet coffee, or reconnecting with your partner.
  • Focus on Your Baby
    By outsourcing certain tasks, you free yourself to spend more quality time with your little one. So, instead of worrying about laundry or meal prep, you can soak in that newborn phase.
  • Support and Expertise
    Postpartum doulas and nannies often bring valuable experience and advice to the table. They can help you navigate the challenges of newborn care, breastfeeding, and establishing routines.

Why The Stigma

Society still romanticises ‘Doing it all’ and sees paid help as a luxury. In reality, many parents budget carefully for support, prioritising mental health.

Let’s Change The Narrative

It’s time to normalise asking for help and see it for what it truly is: an act of strength and self-awareness. By rejecting the unrealistic expectation to do everything alone, we set an example for our children that it’s okay to lean on others and prioritise mental health.

So, the next time you see someone with a cleaner, nanny, or postpartum doula, resist the urge to judge. Instead, applaud them for making a choice that benefits their family. Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint, and we all deserve to run it with as much support as we can get.

Finding Your Support

Find A Local Doula
Find A Local Doula

Doula UK has access to local trained professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to families before, during and shortly after childbirth to help them achieve the healthiest, most satisfying experience possible.

Find out more
The Goverment's Advice on Childcare and Support
The Goverment’s Advice on Childcare and Support

The government have lots of advice and links regarding childcare, financial support for childcare (*like free hours) and childcare for school-age children.

Find out more



Based on what you love