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A Bedtime Routine Will Almost Break You (But Then It Will Set You Free)

It’ll feel like Groundhog Day for at least twelve months, but once that babe is in a bedtime routine you’ll thank yourself for sticking it out. A year of routine for a lifetime of nights to yourself? Worth it.

If They Don’t Sleep In The Day, They’ll Be Ok

You’ll think everyone else has cracked it, but if your mum mates are driving around in their 4X4’s all day, it’s probably because the baby won’t nap without it. Seriously, don’t spend an entire day trying to get them to sleep. Get them up, play with them, do what you need to do and eventually they’ll conk out. A day here and there won’t ruin your routine, and it’s really not worth the stress.

Baby TV & Toast Will Save You In Almost Every Situation

Don’t fight it.

It Will Take At Least A Year (maybe more) To Feel ‘Normal’

No, we don’t mean fitting into your size 10s again, you’ll do that quite quickly with all that walking. We mean, it’ll take at least a year until you really feel like you’ve got your shit together. And that’s ok.

Childless Friends Are The Biggest Judgers

You were there once too, talking about how having a baby will never change your life. Just let them have it; they’ll work it out one day.

Rely On Dad When You Can

Give him some basic instructions (when to feed, what to feed and where to find everything) then let him get on with it. He’ll have his own style (which will probably send you wild) but they’ll both be fine and they’ll enjoy the bonding time too. Eventually you’ll be able to switch off completely when you leave him in charge – and that’s real ‘me time’.

Think Smart With Deliveroo

We learnt this the hard way. When you fill in your order, ask your Deliveroo driver not to ring the doorbell but to call you on arrival instead. Sleeping baby and a fed mum.

Never Underestimate The Power Of A Shower

Whether it’s a restless newborn or a non-napping toddler, pop them in their cot with something to stare at for five minutes and jump into the shower. Drench yourself in hot soapy water, shake off whatever happened the night before and push the restart button. Do this every morning. You’ll feel great for it.

No Housework Needs To Happen Right Now


Get Fresh Air Every Day, Even When It’s Raining

Wrap up warm (but not too warm for you; walking with a baby works up quite a sweat) and get out, even if it’s just to the local Co-Op to pick up supplies for an afternoon in. Small goals, big wins.

Never Be Without Calpol, Nespresso Capsules, Wine Or Chocolate

Bulk buying these is your new survival skill.

Baby Wipes Will Wipe Away Most Things

You’ll miss them one day.

They Don’t Need More Toys

Buy yourself something nice and let them play with the packaging instead; it works every time.

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

Again, really.

Invest In cook

For the days when you’re not feeling terribly Nigella, load the freezer with these smart ready meals; they even do them for babies. You’ll end the day with everyone fed and watered and can can even pass them off as your own if you feel the need.

You Will Forget The Birth

Even if it nearly killed you, you will forget.

Pay For The Help You Need

It takes a village, and sometimes you have to pay for it; especially if there’s no family nearby. Cleaner, babysitter, ironer, hairdresser, cook… if you can afford it, get the help.

You Will Never Know Love Like It

Never have we loved (or been loved in return) quite like this – except by our own mums. Your heart will burst daily with unexplainable, unconditional love. Every tear, every hour of missed sleep (yours and theirs), every teething tantrum, every pregnancy ache and pain. You’ll look into their eyes and it will all melt away.

The Internet Will Save You

Netflix at 3am, WhatsApp at 4am and Instagram at 5am. This is the year the internet will help you more than you could ever imagine.

You Will Gain A Whole New Perspective

The trivial things you once worried about will vanish: your awful commute/bad tempered manager/broken coffee machine/chubby thighs (well they don’t vanish but…). You’ll start looking at the world in a much bigger picture – the things that really worry you will be the ones that impact your kids and their future, not which size pants you can squeeze yourself into. And somewhere in all of this is remembering to prioritise yourself from time to time, which is another great learning – and perhaps the most important one of all to hold onto.

You’ll Love The First Year A Lot More Looking Back At It

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