Home > Advice > Baby > The 10 Questions you might have after having a baby

The three months after birth aren’t called the fourth trimester for nothing. Yes, you have your little baby, but you’re also extremely fragile, and it’s completely normal to feel a bit crap.

We put so much pressure on ourselves to know everything straight away, to bounce back to our former selves and pretend to the world that we’re handling everything like a bloody pro.

But guess what? You’ve just grown a tiny human inside of you, and now it’s out there in the world, while your body and mind are quite frankly in a state of shock.

No one, (not even your Mother-in-Law) expects you to know it all, or do it all.

So, stop being so hard on yourself and quit the compare game right now. Because everyone feels like this.

It’s your recovery, your body, your mind, your baby, and you’ll get to wherever you need to get to, in your own time!

We spoke to Clare Castell, founder of Blossom Antenatal, to answer the top ten questions that women ask after giving birth.

*Blossom Antenatal offer free breastfeeding classes, plus a variety of paid antenatal and postnatal classes to support new and expectant parents.

How do mothers feel after birth?

“Mothers can feel a range of emotions. Often, for women, the expectation is that you will fall instantly in love with your gorgeous newborn baby, but this isn’t always the case. Of course, some women will but don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t immediately feel the rush of oxytocin (the love hormone). You might just feel tired and emotional, and this is ok. Depending on your birth experience, physical recovery varies from woman to woman. Allowing yourself time to rest and recover is essential”, says Clare.

Is it normal to cry after birth?

“As with any experience in life, birth is a very emotional experience. It is normal to cry, laugh and smile, and you should meet these range of emotions with an open heart”, says Clare. Baby blues are normal, it does not make you a bad Mum or suggest that you’re not coping. The days, and even weeks, after birth are emotional and it’s ok if you get upset over small things. Just roll with it and while you’re looking after your baby make sure you are looked after too. Clare adds, “If these feelings continue and you feel overwhelmed, then you can call your GP or midwife to let them know. Talk to those that care for you and support you and if you feel you need more support then reach out. PANDA is an organisation supporting women who suffer from postnatal depression, and they have a helpline you can call just to talk”. You may even find one call is all you need.

Can a woman go crazy?

“Most women feel tired, and the changing hormones can make them feel sad one minute and happy the next. This isn’t crazy!” Says Clare. She adds, “There are some mental health conditions like postpartum psychosis, which needs immediate medical attention, but thankfully, this is a rare occurrence. If you do have thoughts and feelings that are overwhelming, or you are acting out of character, then you must speak to your doctor, midwife or health professional as help is out there”.

What is postpartum psychosis?

“This is a serious mental health condition where you must seek help urgently”, says Clare. She adds “It can be an overwhelming and frightening experience. Symptoms include severe depression, rapid mood changes, confusion and feeling disorientated. You might also feel restless, unable to sleep or concentrate and experience delusions or hallucinations”.

Can my newborn feel my emotions?

They certainly can. Newborn babies can communicate and are primed to understand emotions. It is proven that kisses from a mother to her baby can stimulate responses in their brain, and when you are emotionally upset, they can feel it in their bodies too. “They definitely feel and respond to your cues as much as you do to theirs”, says Clare. Want to know more? Clare says, “There is lots of information on Baby Brain Development on the NPSCC website”.

When can you have sex after birth?

This is completely up to you and your partner. It is whenever you feel ready. Please don’t ever feel like you have to rush and do it in your own time. Not sure, but you think there’s a problem? Clare suggests, “Always speak with your GP if you have concerns about your physical recovery”.

Is it ok I don’t feel like having sex?

“This is very normal for women after birth. Hormone changes can impact your libido and how you feel, nevermind the fact you have a newborn baby to take care of. Talk to your partner, and if it starts to take a toll on your relationship, then speaking with organisations like Relate can help. But usually, patience and time can help, plus a supportive relationship and partner”, says Clare.”

How soon after birth can you get pregnant?

This can happen as soon as your body starts ovulating. Clare explains, “There are women that find themselves pregnant six weeks after their baby’s birth, so you must use contraception. Don’t forget you ovulate before your first period so you can get pregnant before this happens”.

Why does it smell down there after birth?

Your uterus sheds lochia after birth, and while this is mostly made up of blood, it is normal for it to have a slight odour. If you notice a strong smell, it is worth speaking to your GP to ensure you don’t have an infection.

What is the meaning of postpartum?

The period just after you’ve had your baby.

Along with Blossom Antenatal’s free breastfeeding classes, they also offer paid classes in hypnobirthing, baby massage, infant first aid and sleep. For more information on Blossom Antenatal and their classes head to https://www.blossomantenatal.com

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