Home > Life > Travel > 6 Things We Learnt From Binge-Watching Sex/Life

The 8-part Netflix series Sex/Life has been dominating our social media feeds since its debut in July and for good reason. The super steamy, sex-charged drama series tells the story of a Billie (Sarah Shani), a stunning wife and mother who lives a perfectly manicured life replete with gorgeously handsome hubby, cute kids and a spacious house in the burbs. But of course, there’s a problem. Billie is bored. She longs to relive her own version of the roaring twenties, and return to the days when she was running the streets with her bestie indulging in toe-curling sexploits in the spirit of Carrie Bradshaw, Samantha et al. It’s at this point we are introduced to her old flame, Brad (Adam Demos). Brad is sexy. Brad is confident. Brad is naughty. Brad is bad. His reappearance in Billie’s life has her questioning her safe and secure marriage and pondering the age-old question on whether as women we can truly have it all. After binge-watching the series in a day or two, here are some key observations we had of Sex/Life. Beware: major spoiler alerts ahead.

1. There’s no such thing as happily ever after

From a young age we’re indoctrinated with the belief that we’ll be truly happy once we land a dream job, get married, have kids and live in a big house. And no matter how much we evolve as a society and critique outdated societal conventions, deep down the little girl in us who read all the classic fairy tale books still holds this to be true. In Sex/Life protagonist Billie was tormented by the fact that on paper her life looked enviably perfect, and yet, she still felt empty inside. This serves as a reminder that happiness is not a destination. Even when you tick all the items off life’s to-do list you’ll still be faced with the emotional ups and downs that come with being human.

2. Our fun, frivolous years were great but probably best left in the past.

When you’re knee deep in the unrelenting cycle of round the clock nappy changes, sleepless nights and sore nipples during the early years of motherhood, it’s tempting to look back at your fun, frivolous child-free years and romanticise it. In Billie’s case, she was looking after a newborn and an infant simultaneously, living in the suburbs isolated from her true friends, and yearning for some attention from her husband who was frequently absent due to his work commitments. It was inevitable that she’d begin to think back to the past when she had a bustling social life, exciting sex life and a thriving career. We have a tendency to view the past with rose tinted glasses while glossing over the less savoury bits. In reality, those days came with its own set of challenges for most of us, think: commitment phobe dudes, bank accounts permanently in the red, and narcissistic bosses who would give Miranda Priestly a run for her money. The beauty of life is that each stage of it comes with its own set of unique gifts. Let the past stay in the past and embrace the present and all that the future has to offer.

3. Your sex life doesn’t have to be PG-rated because you’re a mum.

Billie was hesitant to show her husband her freakier side for fear of judgement, after all, she’s a mother of two now, right?* places tongue firmly in cheek*. Isn’t it baffling (and frustrating) that despite the sexual revolution and the current sex positivity movement, society still has a habit of deferring to the Madonna vs whore complex, viewing women as either saints or sluts. The consequence of this is women can be reluctant to experiment and explore the full spectrum of their sexuality once they tie the knot for fear of being seen as some kind of wanton sexual deviant. It’s such a counter-productive situation, as true intimacy can only occur when we show up as our authentic selves and bare our soul (porn star fantasies ‘n’ all) in its entirety to our significant other.

4. It’s okay to be honest – motherhood can suck sometimes

Billie fell victim to doing what so many of us do as mothers – bottling up our true feelings when it comes to the challenges of motherhood. While everything appeared perfect on paper – gorgeous hubby, adorable kids, enviable home – there was still an emptiness, a gnawing away at her soul as she still felt unfulfilled in other aspects of her life such as her career, which she had put aside to prioritise her family. We’d save ourselves from so much despair if we open up about how difficult motherhood can get sometimes. The thing is, we all experience similar feelings of exhaustion, loneliness, low mood, lack of confidence, but at the time we’re going through it, it can feel like we’re the only one. Don’t be afraid to take the first step and confide in a fellow mummy that although you love your babies dearly, things can feel a bit crappy at times.

5. The infamous shower scene in episode 3

Sorry, we’ve got nothing profound to say here other than, wow, did you see it? (I mean, how could you NOT?) *insert jaw drop emoji*

6. Password protection exists for a reason

Oh Billie, this could’ve all been so easily avoided. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with daydreaming about trysts with ex-lovers, or even ruminating about all the naughty things you’d like to do to Chris Hemsworth or Michael B. Jordan, but maybe next time keep those thoughts in your head, girl. Or if you insist on writing a steamy confessional reminiscing over Brad’s masterful cunnilingus skills, at least keep a password on your laptop to avoid the prying eyes of your hubby.

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