It’s pretty hard to understand what it’s like to be pregnant, and when you’re growing a tiny human, the last thing you need is to explain to another person how you’re feeling. Because quite honestly, a lot of the time, you don’t even know yourself!

But what if someone else could do it for you? Luckily, they can! As some helpful people have penned down easy-to-digest advice that you can just hand to your partner and ask them to read. 

Alongside a list of the best books to give your partner, we’ve included some things that worked for our readers and us. 

And we bet that just talking to your partner will improve your situation. Because a lot of the time, getting things out in the open will help lighten the mental load. 

So try not to store it up, and remember you’re in this together.

Make time to rest

No one likes a moaning myrtle, and the constant chime of the words “I’m tired” would grate on anyone. But the truth is. We fucking are! So how do you fix it? TMC Editor Lydia says, “I’m always tired. So, during pregnancy, I was unbearable. On the other hand, my husband is like the energiser bunny. And the mix wasn’t a good one.
But after explaining to him (on many occasions) that I was tired from growing OUR tiny human, he started to get it (ish). I also found naps helpful if we were going out in the evening. “But really, the main thing that helped was this book. My husband’s best friend read it and his wife passed it my way. It explains how you might be feeling month by month and how they can help. Occasionally, it suggested I should be given a massage or another type of treat, and it was honestly the best thing ever. Thank you, book!”

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READ: Things We Wish We Had Discussed As a Couple Before Having a Baby

Find the right time to talk

It’s hard to articulate your emotions when you’re feeling upset. TMC Editorial Ast Luzaan Shaw says, “I always found that if I tried to have a conversation with my husband when I was feeling stressed, he was unable to listen. I changed tactics and spoke to him another time, and he was a lot more receptive. I also bought him this book; he loved reading it as it uses lots of experts and humour to explain the situation. It was nice that he was learning about my pregnancy and our baby and then had his own tools and tips to put into practice, rather than me telling him all the time and sounding like a nag.”

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Share the experience

When you’re feeling tired, sick or stressed, it’s easy to assume that your partner would never be envious, but they might be. TMC Reader Gemma says, “For my wife and I, the most annoying thing was other people’s questions. My partner would often be asked, “Will you be next?” or “Didn’t you want to do it?” and even though we always knew it would be me who would carry, she started to feel a bit left out.” To share the experience better, we plotted in a few private scans so she could see the baby more, and she chose a lot of the nursery items and read more baby books than I did. This book was so fantastic at helping her feel less alone, and I ended up reading it after her. Yes, it’s aimed at same-sex couples, but it’s a good read for anyone as it’s hilarious.”

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READ: What it’s like for two women to have a baby

Divide the jobs and conquer

For many partners, pivotal moments like baby scans or antenatal classes are when the experience can feel real. But that leaves a lot of time in between when the mother goes through a vast amount ofchanges on her own – or that’s how it can feel. Share the load and organise your new to-do list. You might not be able to give them new emotions, aches, or pains but you can ask them to help with bookings, shopping and more. TMC Reader Jenny says, “I found out late that I was pregnant, and it was such a shock to both my boyfriend and I, so while I was figuring it all out, I didn’t have time to explain how I was feeling or what I needed to do because I had no idea myself.” “This book helped us as it gave him tasks to complete, and he started doing things that I hadn’t even considered. Mental that a book could do so much to help, but it did.”

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Even the score and ease your mind

Explain that while you want to have fun, you can’t have quite the same time as them, and you’re starting to feel resentful. Ask them to compromise. You don’t want them to stop life as they know it but they have agreed to have this baby with you. “Figure out some things you’d like to do to even the keel”, says TMC reader Sarah, “My partner booked a lot of trips during my pregnancy, so after I got riled up and told him he needed to pull back, I then booked in a few things for me to enjoy. I also passed over some baby-related jobs to lighten my load and It made me much happier.” “A friend suggested this book, and a lot of the advice is directed towards the woman but it improved our relationship before and after the baby arrived. It helps you organise who does what, and OK, things aren’t perfect, but they’re loads better.”

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