Home > Body > Health > Sex > How Long Do You Have To Wait To Have Sex After Birth?

Whether you were a bit frisky during pregnancy or you sat in the camp of ‘Get the F away from me!’ we can guarantee that post-birth, you’ll confidently reside in the latter.

Honestly, the thought of having S.E.X. couldn’t be further from our minds.

But what if you’ve started to worry if you will ever want it again? And when can you actually do it? Read on to find out…

Why don’t I want to have sex after birth?

Whatever labour you had, you’ll probably be viewing your body a bit differently right now. It’s completely normal to feel disconnected from any sexual thoughts. Readjusting your mind to see your bits and boobs as sexual entities feels almost impossible—especially when you’re breastfeeding, and your tits are your baby’s feeding station. But try not to worry. This opinion will change with time.

Is it ok I don’t feel like having sex?

Anyone else just feel a bit numb down there? “This is very normal for women after birth”, says Clare Castell, founder of Blossom Antenatal. She adds, “Hormone changes can impact your libido, cause dryness and affect how you feel. Never mind the fact you have a newborn baby to take care of!”. You might also feel a bit body conscious, which can play a huge part in sexual confidence. But don’t worry, like everything, it will slowly return, in whatever time frame is right for you.

When can I have sex after birth?

Usually, doctors say that it is ok six weeks after delivery. After this, it is entirely up to you and your partner. But mainly YOU. Please don’t ever feel like you have to rush. Do it in your own sweet time!

Will I want to have sex ever again?

It might not feel like it now, but @midwife_pip assures us that “You will! Please don’t put pressure on yourself. If you’re struggling and your partner has commented that you keep pushing him away, then talk to him and share your feelings.” In the meantime, enjoy intimacy in other ways like hugging, kissing or having a nice meal together. You have been through a lot, and you need to allow your body and mind time to recover and adapt to your new role as a mother”. If it starts to become a problem, you can speak to organisations like Relate. But usually, patience, time and a supportive partner will help.

Will it hurt to have sex after birth?

Whatever birth you had, there will be an element of soreness down below. Pregnancy puts a considerable amount of pressure on our bodies and our pelvic floor. You may experience some vaginal dryness, and If you feel tense, it will affect your ability to feel pleasure. So, try and relax, and get yourself some lube. It’s also worth being prepared that you may have to stop things in their tracks on the first few go’s until you’re ready. If it’s too painful, then don’t just carry on. It’s frustrating, we know, but your partner will understand.

Check-in with a physio to see if there’s any damage

Book in for a post-natal MOT to find out if you have any internal damage. The specialist will be able to advise you if you’re ready to have sex or if your body still needs some time to repair. Often women find that they are in a much better state than they think. Nervousness can play a part in getting back into things, so seeing a specialist might give you the boost you need.

Will I leak urine during sex?

If you’re experiencing leaks, then it’s probably due to stress incontinence, which is the same thing that causes you to leak if you cough or sneeze. This can be improved by doing your pelvic floor exercises, and if you feel like you need extra help, it is worth speaking to your GP or a pelvic health physiotherapist or specialist. If you leak during an orgasm, it could be because of urinary urgency, where the bladder muscles spasm when they’re not supposed to. Either way, if you’re worried, then speak to someone.

Will my vagina feel bigger after birth?

Our bodies are incredibly resilient. You only have to look at your post-pregnancy stomach to see how far it stretches out and back in. It will take a bit of time, but pelvic floor exercises will help tighten the muscles and make your vagina feel firmer.

4 ways to get your libido back after birth
  1. Increase your self-care
    Even just a long warm shower, bath or an extra bit of sleep can boost your mood. Ask your partner to take the baby out for a walk without you. Having an hour or so to yourself will help reignite your mood.
  2. Amp up the romance.
    Did sex use to follow a drunken night out? Or take place hungover when you were lounging in bed the next day? Well, if that’s no longer happening, you may need to switch things up and pour in some cheesy romance tactics like a rose petal bath or a candlelit dinner.
  3. Get some space.
    Ask a family member to take the baby for a few hours. Crack open some wine, play some music and order in some tasty food. You will feel so elated to have the house to yourselves (and to feel like two people who aren’t just parents) that the endorphins should spur on some nooky.
  4. Introduce a maintenance shag
    If it’s been a long old time since delivery, you may have to just go for it. We’re habitual creatures, and if we get used to not doing something, it can be daunting to get back into it, but once you do it, you’ll probably increase the likelihood of it happening more often.
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