How To Find The Perfect School For Your Child.Read More For more information, head to www.goldencircletutors.co.uk, Tatler or The Good Schools Guide. Post author By The Mum Club Post date 20 May 2021 How To Find The Perfect School For Your Child. Gah! Another big parent decision! Take the stress out with some advice from Golden Circle Tutors. 1. Profile your ideal school Consider the different types of schools available and what will be suitable for your family, location and finances. Decisions to take include boarding school vs day school, independent vs state school, single sex vs co-ed and religious vs non-religious? Other factors which may influence your decision-making include the school run and transport options, catchment area, extracurricular clubs and SEN support. Be practical about what the next 5 years may hold and whether this criterion will still work for your family in the future. 2. Do your research online Resources such as the school’s website, prospectus and Ofsted reports offer only a snapshot of information. Use The Times Parent Power to discover the highest-performing schools in your area and gain insight into the average English and Maths attainment at each school. The Good Schools Guide or Tatler Schools Guide both provide trusted, candid and in-depth school reviews. Make a shortlist of the schools that you feel will be a good fit for your child. Each school has a different ethos and philosophy, which will influence their approach towards academia, sports, arts, and social and emotional development. As a parent, you are best placed to understand the type of environment that your child will flourish in. 3. Reach out to other parents Harness the power of local networks! Use The Mum Club, local Facebook groups or Nextdoor to discuss details with parents of children at your shortlist schools. Ask the questions that are important to you – are there any scholarships available, how many students are there per class, what policies do they have on peer-to-peer support and anti-bullying, does the school nurture students that are gifted in sports, arts or music? 4. Attend an open morning Visiting prospective schools will give you the most accurate understanding of day-to-day life at the school. In addition to viewing the facilities, it gives you a feel for the atmosphere, leadership style and teaching calibre. Feel free to ask the staff plenty of questions about the school’s values, the curriculum, extracurricular opportunities and their teaching approach. 5. Prepare for applications and admissions tests Create a spreadsheet for your school choices detailing application deadlines. For state schools, follow your local council’s application process. For independent schools, follow the instructions on their website. Independent schools may require you to register your child 1-2 years in advance and use an admissions test or interview for children aged 4 and over. At age 4, there is nothing to worry about! The 4+ exam assesses a child’s social skills and their ability to follow teacher instructions. At 7+, 8+ and 11+ level, start preparing at least 12 months in advance. A ‘little and often’ approach often works better than a last-minute cram! Finally, trust your instinct on where your child will be happy. When you visit a school, it’s likely that you will have a feeling about whether you can envisage your child and family integrating into the school community. It’s a really exciting milestone and adventure that you and your child will embark on – we wish you the best of luck! For more information, head to www.goldencircletutors.co.uk, Tatler or The Good Schools Guide.
Perfectly Acceptable Parenting Lies We All Tell Our KidsRead More Honesty is the best policy; until your 4 year-old asks you where babies come from… Post author By The Mum Club Post date 17 May 2021 Perfectly Acceptable Parenting Lies We All Tell Our Kids Honesty is the best policy; until your 4 year-old asks you where babies come from… ‘It’s Bedtime’ (at 5.30pm) We’re all for kids learning new skills, but the day your child comes home from school with the ability to tell the time is, quite frankly, one of the most devastating days of our parenting lives. ‘You hide and I’ll count’ A.K.A ‘you hide and I’ll sit here flicking through Instagram for the next 10 minutes shouting arbitrary numbers and pretending I can’t hear you giggling behind that chair.’ ‘You wouldn’t like it, it’s spicy’ If you had a turd in a bag your kids would want half. Repeat after us: ‘MUMMY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!’ ‘And they lived happily ever after, the end’ Losing your mind reading the same book over and over again? Skip a page or seven. THEY WON’T FUCKING NOTICE. Honestly, there’s really no need for the Gruffalo to meet the fox, the snake AND the owl. It’s total overkill if you ask us. ‘It’s closed today darling’ We have a sneaky suspicion that post-lockdown the park will be closed for a very, very long time. ‘You ate them all sweetheart’ READ: I ate the entire bag watching Line of Duty last night and give absolutely zero fucks. ‘Wow! I love it! What is it?!’ About 30% of being a parent is lying to your kids about how good the crap they make looks and/or tastes. ‘The alarm sensor means Father Christmas is watching’ See also: ‘if you don’t behave the policeman will come and arrest you’ and other mild threats we make on the daily. ‘The car wont start if you don’t put your seatbelt on’ SAFETY FIRST. Tags 2minuteread, Parktimestrollandscroll
TMC Family Recipe Of The Week: Baked ZitiRead More There is everything to love about this baked ziti, I think of it as an easier version of lasagne. A true family winner and comforting on all levels. Serve with… Post author By The Mum Club Post date 14 May 2021 TMC Family Recipe Of The Week: Baked Ziti There is everything to love about this baked ziti, I think of it as an easier version of lasagne. A true family winner and comforting on all levels. Serve with a mixed Italian salad, a glass of Italian red wine and you’re almost transported – just for a second. Bliss. Ingredients 1 onion 500g lean beef mince 300g Mushrooms 1 tsp dried oregano 1 tsp dried basil 1 tsp thyme 2 tsp minced garlic 3 tins of chopped tomatoes 400g rigatoni pasta 250g ricotta cheese Grated cheddar, parmesan and mozzarella for topping Method Chop onion and fry for five minutes on a medium heat before adding the mince beef and cooking until brown and mixing throughout to ensure there is no big clumps of meat. Add minced garlic and herbs and cook for 2 minutes more before adding the tins of chopped tomatoes. Simmer on a medium heat. Cook rigatoni according to packet instructions (usually around 11 minutes). Once pasta is cooked you can assemble the ziti in a large dish. First pasta, then mince, then dollops of ricotta, more mince, pasta, ricotta finishing with generous amounts of grated cheddar, mozzarella and parmesan.
How Long Do You Have To Wait To Have Sex After Birth?Read More Whether you were a bit frisky during pregnancy or you sat in the camp of ‘Get the F away from me!’ we can guarantee that post-birth, you’ll confidently reside in… Post author By The Mum Club Post date 11 May 2021 How Long Do You Have To Wait To Have Sex After Birth? Whether you were a bit frisky during pregnancy or you sat in the camp of ‘Get the F away from me!’ we can guarantee that post-birth, you’ll confidently reside in the latter. Honestly, the thought of having S.E.X. couldn’t be further from our minds. But what if you’ve started to worry if you will ever want it again? And when can you actually do it? Read on to find out… Why don’t I want to have sex after birth? Whatever labour you had, you’ll probably be viewing your body a bit differently right now. It’s completely normal to feel disconnected from any sexual thoughts. Readjusting your mind to see your bits and boobs as sexual entities feels almost impossible—especially when you’re breastfeeding, and your tits are your baby’s feeding station. But try not to worry. This opinion will change with time. Is it ok I don’t feel like having sex? Anyone else just feel a bit numb down there? “This is very normal for women after birth”, says Clare Castell, founder of Blossom Antenatal. She adds, “Hormone changes can impact your libido, cause dryness and affect how you feel. Never mind the fact you have a newborn baby to take care of!”. You might also feel a bit body conscious, which can play a huge part in sexual confidence. But don’t worry, like everything, it will slowly return, in whatever time frame is right for you. When can I have sex after birth? Usually, doctors say that it is ok six weeks after delivery. After this, it is entirely up to you and your partner. But mainly YOU. Please don’t ever feel like you have to rush. Do it in your own sweet time! Will I want to have sex ever again? It might not feel like it now, but @midwife_pip assures us that “You will! Please don’t put pressure on yourself. If you’re struggling and your partner has commented that you keep pushing him away, then talk to him and share your feelings.” In the meantime, enjoy intimacy in other ways like hugging, kissing or having a nice meal together. You have been through a lot, and you need to allow your body and mind time to recover and adapt to your new role as a mother”. If it starts to become a problem, you can speak to organisations like Relate. But usually, patience, time and a supportive partner will help. Will it hurt to have sex after birth? Whatever birth you had, there will be an element of soreness down below. Pregnancy puts a considerable amount of pressure on our bodies and our pelvic floor. You may experience some vaginal dryness, and If you feel tense, it will affect your ability to feel pleasure. So, try and relax, and get yourself some lube. It’s also worth being prepared that you may have to stop things in their tracks on the first few go’s until you’re ready. If it’s too painful, then don’t just carry on. It’s frustrating, we know, but your partner will understand. Check-in with a physio to see if there’s any damage Book in for a post-natal MOT to find out if you have any internal damage. The specialist will be able to advise you if you’re ready to have sex or if your body still needs some time to repair. Often women find that they are in a much better state than they think. Nervousness can play a part in getting back into things, so seeing a specialist might give you the boost you need. Will I leak urine during sex? If you’re experiencing leaks, then it’s probably due to stress incontinence, which is the same thing that causes you to leak if you cough or sneeze. This can be improved by doing your pelvic floor exercises, and if you feel like you need extra help, it is worth speaking to your GP or a pelvic health physiotherapist or specialist. If you leak during an orgasm, it could be because of urinary urgency, where the bladder muscles spasm when they’re not supposed to. Either way, if you’re worried, then speak to someone. Will my vagina feel bigger after birth? Our bodies are incredibly resilient. You only have to look at your post-pregnancy stomach to see how far it stretches out and back in. It will take a bit of time, but pelvic floor exercises will help tighten the muscles and make your vagina feel firmer. 4 ways to get your libido back after birth Increase your self-care Even just a long warm shower, bath or an extra bit of sleep can boost your mood. Ask your partner to take the baby out for a walk without you. Having an hour or so to yourself will help reignite your mood. Amp up the romance. Did sex use to follow a drunken night out? Or take place hungover when you were lounging in bed the next day? Well, if that’s no longer happening, you may need to switch things up and pour in some cheesy romance tactics like a rose petal bath or a candlelit dinner. Get some space. Ask a family member to take the baby for a few hours. Crack open some wine, play some music and order in some tasty food. You will feel so elated to have the house to yourselves (and to feel like two people who aren’t just parents) that the endorphins should spur on some nooky. Introduce a maintenance shag If it’s been a long old time since delivery, you may have to just go for it. We’re habitual creatures, and if we get used to not doing something, it can be daunting to get back into it, but once you do it, you’ll probably increase the likelihood of it happening more often. Tags 10minuteread, Bedtimebrowse
TMC Recipe of the week: Chocolate Avocado MousseRead More We’ve partnered with Zenia Deogan, Nutritionist and Chef @thesensorykitchen to create some super easy, super speedy recipes of the week. Chocolate mousse done right! Whizz up a healthy, yet indulgent… Post author By The Mum Club Post date 10 May 2021 TMC Recipe of the week: Chocolate Avocado Mousse We’ve partnered with Zenia Deogan, Nutritionist and Chef @thesensorykitchen to create some super easy, super speedy recipes of the week. Chocolate mousse done right! Whizz up a healthy, yet indulgent and silky mousse in minutes with this easy-peasy recipe! Ingredients (makes 4 glasses) 1 medium ripe avocado 2 bananas 1 can coconut milk 2 tbsp good quality cocoa 4tsp honey/maple syrup 1 tsp vanilla essence Raspberries/strawberries/pomegranate – any gorgeous fruit that’s not going to let this lovely pot of joy down! How to make it: Blitz all ingredients in a blender and just make it look pretty with fruit of your choice. Store in the fridge for at least 1 hour before serving – enjoy!
An Experts’ Guide To Juggling Mum-Life And CareerRead More Navigating motherhood is a journey to say the least. One big part of that journey for many is juggling the world of work, while caring for your kids. It’s not… Post author By The Mum Club Post date 7 May 2021 An Experts’ Guide To Juggling Mum-Life And Career Navigating motherhood is a journey to say the least. One big part of that journey for many is juggling the world of work, while caring for your kids. It’s not easy. But it doesn’t have to be impossible either! We spoke to Tobi Asare from My Bump Pay to share some of her expert advice. How to manage mum guilt when you go back to work Going back to work fills you with lots of emotions. A big part of working means that we are stepping into a big change from being with our children for long periods of time to now spending more time away from them. Remember you’re why. Why are you heading back to work, for many it is for financial reasons and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. A lot of women also like working and can’t see themselves as a full time mum. And that’s ok too! Remind yourself you are heading back to work for a reason. Secondly, I always encourage parents to embrace the fact that retuning back to work means that you won’t be able to be there for every moment with your child, but you will certainly be there for a number of important moments. It will mean that weekends become time where you can really invest into spending time with your family. And just because your time is now split, don’t forget to schedule in important time to yourself also. That’s just as important and you should never feel guilt over it. How to tell your boss you’re pregnant Be sure to set up an online meeting (in person if possible) and have a conversation. These things are hard to discuss over email. Do have some facts at your fingertips? For example your due date and your initial thoughts about maternity leave? Get Right On The Money – A Guide To Pre-School Funding For Parents READ NOW Whether you have a baby on the way, or have a little one already, we’ve compiled a list of all the money that is available to you if you are a UK resident. Read on, so you don’t miss out. How to change career when you’re a mum First, I would advise to draw upon your tangible achievements. Write down a list of what you have achieved in your current role and any other recent roles. Be sure to document your achievements in numerical form e.g. saved the business £x over x months. Recalling your achievements is a great place to start because it will help you to assess your tangible transferable skills. In addition to this it will help you to communicate your value in applications and interviews. Secondly, I would be sure to connect with your network. This could be people you went to university with, former colleagues, friends and family. Speak to people you think are doing interesting things in sectors that you could potentially find exciting. From those conversations try to glean what their industries are like, what you need to succeed in these roles and if your skills could transfer. Connecting with your network is a powerful step, as a high percentage of roles are never advertised and are filled through personal networks. Thirdly speak to other parents. Find how well their sector or organisation supports working parents and if it a culture where you will be able to thrive. If you’re scared to take a break from your career to become a mum Having a baby is an incredible time of learning and growth where you gain new transferable skills. It also brings a tremendous amount of clarity that can work in your favour when it comes to not giving up on our careers. Remember how long you take off for maternity leave is totally your choice and you don’t have to take off the full 52 weeks. Secondly you can maintain in communication with your network and or colleagues to help you feel a part of what is happening in your industry. This will help you feel less like you have taken a pause and help you to keep your finger on the pulse. Lastly, I always encourage women to prepare for their return before they go on maternity leave. This will help you to put your career in the best position possible before taking off for maternity leave. Above all this is such a special time so, soak it all it and take lots of pictures because it goes by so quickly. How to strengthen your career when you’re on maternity leave There are some really simple things that you can do you help strengthen your career on maternity leave. The first could be to set up google alerts for your industry and have the emails go into a separate folder. Now and again, you can read through the emails to stay abreast of key changes in your industry. Book a keeping in touch session/day. More and more these can be done online and more flexibly than previously. You can discuss breaking up a full day into a number of sessions. Keeping in touch sessions are incredibly useful to stay in touch with the business or even do additional training. It is also more than ok to be vocal and communicate your career goals that you have even whilst on maternity leave. Doing this helps to ensure you are top of mind when decision are being made at work that have an impact on your career. If you would like to benefit from any of the resources that My Bump Pay has to offer to help you on your motherhood and work journey, then sign up the to My Bump Pay mailing list here – www.mybumppay.com to be the first to hear about the My Bump Pay Masterclasses. All Mum Club Members will receive 15% off using the code MUMCLUB15 Your Back to Work Breastfeeding Routine READ NOW Still breastfeeding but it’s time to go back to work? Read our guide on how to make the transition go as smoothly as possible.
How To Stop Your Baby Waking Too EarlyRead More If this isn’t high on your Google searches already you are one lucky mother. There’s nothing more exhausting or infuriating then a baby who wakes early and refuses to go… Post author By The Mum Club Post date 3 May 2021 How To Stop Your Baby Waking Too Early If this isn’t high on your Google searches already you are one lucky mother. There’s nothing more exhausting or infuriating then a baby who wakes early and refuses to go back to sleep – though the unsolicited advice that comes with it (‘put them to bed later… let them nap/don’t let them nap… have you tried dipping them in butter and rolling them in breadcrumbs’) is also high up on our list of things not to love about the early years. We’ve combined the tips we’ve picked up along the way with words of wisdom from expert Kate Cohan Founder of @Sleep.Time.Baby. And if none of these work for you, our advice is to buy a Sage Barista Coffee Machine and fire up the iPad… TMC: How do I know if my baby has woken too early? Kate : Tough one. But go with your gut on this – the guidance is for them to have 12 hrs of daytime and 12 hrs of night, but it’s often more like 13/11hrs. The earliest I would say is okay to wake is 6am and the latest is the latest time that you can fit your daytime naps in and still get to your normal bedtime – normally around 8am. TMC: What makes a baby wake early? Kate: The main cause of early rising is overtiredness! An overtired child will find it harder to have a more settled night’s sleep, leading to waking in the early hours. Then we can look at factors such as too many/too little naps during the day, is it dark enough, does hunger or noise wake them too early, are they cold or has it become a habit, and can they self-settle? So basically lots of things! TMC: What can I do to stop my baby waking early? Kate: Address the possibilities listed above. I would suggest trying an earlier bedtime for five days to check for over-tiredness, and then later for five days to see if either makes a difference. Then you might need to tweak their daytime routine or night-time environment, give them more nutrition, look at how they’re settle or consider a ‘wake to sleep’ model before they wake up themselves. TMC: What can we do to get them back to sleep again? Kate: Early rising can take some time to alter, so consistency is key. Keep them in their room until as close to 6am (or your ideal morning time) as possible. You can comfort them and offer support to settle, of course. TMC: Is there anything we can buy that would help? Kate: White noise is great! I recommend the Mar Pac ones (https://yogasleep.uk/collections/all and use code Sleeptimebaby for 15% off) Dark is is essential so black-out curtains and a travel black-out blind can be very helpful; the Gro Company ones are good. Your Early Waking Checklist • Move bedtime to 6pm for five days to see if this works. • Make sure their bedroom has complete black out (easier in the winter months) • Check their nightwear suits the ambient temperature of their room (see our guide here). Add a pair of socks, vest, or switch to a long-sleeved sleeping bag. • Try giving them a banana, porridge or oat cake just before bed to stop hunger waking them up. • Take habit out of the equation. Set your alarm for one hour before they usually wake to stir them slightly and break their sleep cycle; they should go back into a deeper sleep for a few more hours. • Consider encouraging them to settle themselves to sleep, so they don’t wake in the night wondering where you are (because that’s how they drifted off). Tags 5minuteread, Yournaptimeknowhow
9 Skills Motherhood Can Add To Your CVRead More Maternity leave isn’t without its career worries. Will your job still be there when I go back? Will having kids affect your chances of promotion? How will you juggle childcare… Post author By The Mum Club Post date 3 May 2021 9 Skills Motherhood Can Add To Your CV Maternity leave isn’t without its career worries. Will your job still be there when I go back? Will having kids affect your chances of promotion? How will you juggle childcare with your career? And the biggest anxiety of all… after nine months of broken nights and zero adult interaction, does baby brain ever really go away? So let’s reframe: you’ve learnt some bona fide transferable skills on that year-long ‘break’ (and don’t get us started on that one). Don’t believe us? Read on… Military-style Organisation Mums achieve more before breakfast than most people do all day. Kids up and dressed, laundry on, lunches prepped, unscheduled morning bath due to unprecedented poonami, house tidied… and you still managed a flash of mascara while simultaneously breastfeeding the baby and helping your partner find his keys (where he left them; always). A good mum thinks ten steps ahead at all times – you can’t say that’s not transferable. Negotiation Tactics Whoever said ‘never negotiate with terrorists’ has clearly never dealt with a toddler; getting a vegetable past one of these requires the skill set of a highly trained FBI agent. “Just smell the broccoli sweetheart, then have an ice cream”. Bargaining, persuasion, bribery: you name it, you’ve mastered it. Communication Skills After a year of juggling multiple WhatsApp groups (including three different configurations of the girls from NCT) your comms management is on fire. Not only can you run seven conversations in tandem (“looks like just a rash babe, but I’d get it checked anyway”) you’re managing a weekly diary more complicated than your average CEO’s. Relationship Building Walking into a dusty church hall 15 minutes late with leaking boobs and a screaming new born used to be unnerving. Now? You can flash a boob at a stranger without missing a beat of your carefully honed small talk. In fact, you’re instant mates with anyone old enough to string a sentence together. Teamworking There’s no better feeling than handing a clean, dry and well-fed babe to your other half when they get home at the end of the day… and tapping out for a bath/essential online shopping/a very slow walk around the supermarket. Working together is tricky, but on the days you nail it you’ll feel like the dream team. Multi-Tasking We love dads, we really do, but it’s no secret that when they’re ‘looking after the baby’, they’re just… looking after the baby. By the end of mat leave you’ll have 12 things on the go at any one time, all meticulously completed while you rock the bouncer with a spare foot and catch up on Netflix. Problem Solving Sally has 12 minutes to do the Aldi shop before the school run. The baby has fallen asleep in the car seat, she’s forgotten the pram, it’s raining, and she doesn’t have a pound coin for the trolley. Discuss. Financial Planning Anyone who’s attempted to get by on statutory maternity leave for six months has serious fiscal skills. You fed your family, kept them (and yourself) entertained 24/7, and switched gas and electricity providers more often than Kim K posts selfies. Stick that in your YOY. Creative Thinking No toys, no problem; there is no scenario you can’t make a game out of. Dried pasta and a colander are the new soft play and you are Mary Poppins in activewear. Tags 3minuteread, coffeebreakcatchup
First Baby Vs… Every Other Kid After ThatRead More You can’t jump in the same river twice, and that’s never more true than in pregnancy. The romance, the glow, the putting-your-feet-up-at-the-end-of-the-day. Yup, you don’t get that back after the… Post author By The Mum Club Post date 3 May 2021 First Baby Vs… Every Other Kid After That You can’t jump in the same river twice, and that’s never more true than in pregnancy. The romance, the glow, the putting-your-feet-up-at-the-end-of-the-day. Yup, you don’t get that back after the first (it was romantic, right?). And that’s not the only thing that changes; here’s how… The Announcement First Child Each individual reveal carefully rehearsed and fully documented, with especially purchased ‘You’re going to be a Grandma/Grandad/Auntie/Niece/Cousin/Next Door Neighbour’ cards containing scan photograph and handwritten note. Then, the whole lot filmed and edited into an emotional video montage (to the soundtrack of that sad song from Twilight) and uploaded to a box fresh Instagram channel with baby’s newly secured handle. Second Child After stalking you on Insta, your best mate texts you ‘pregnant or fat?’ to which you reply: ‘oh, yeah. Due in June’. The Nursery First Child Gender neutral jungle theme, featuring hand-painted orangutans on wallpaper sourced painstakingly from Paris. Matching cot, changing table and wardrobe, packed with tiny, twice-ironed outfits, each with coordinated shoes and accessories. All completed and ready at three months to go. Second Child You scream at your husband to ‘get the Snuz Pod out of the loft’ as you mop up your waters from the kitchen floor. The Hospital Bag First Child TENS machine, lavender oil, make-up, three matching ‘coming mome’ outfits, baby shoes, oil diffuser, hair straighteners and kindle. Second Child A onesie for them and the pyjamas you were wearing when you went into labour. The Labour First Child £200 in hypnobirthing birthing classes, 12-step birth plan featuring fully-considered ‘pain ladder’ featuring precisely zero drugs. Second Child You train your husband to bark ‘EPIDURAL’ at every medical professional he sees. The Name First Child After filling two purpose-bought notebooks with potentials, you settle on two middle names only, and mark the decision with a hand-embroidered blanket for the nursery. Second Child Six weeks into calling them ‘baby girl’ you let your older kid pick out a name from the less obnoxious characters in Peppa Pig, on the night before you’re due to register the birth. The Nappies First Child You change them the second the line changes blue, including four times a night for a reliably dry bum. Second Child You remember to change them when they waddle past with junk like Kim Kardashian. Bathing First Child Every. Single, Night. Followed by a massage with organic coconut oil (until they’re six months old, when you can choose something in a nice bottle from Space NK). Second Child Twice a week. Swimming pools and rainwater count. Sterilising First Child Everything. All the time. Constantly. Second Child *Googles ‘does spit clean stuff’* Weaning First Child Seasonal produce, puréed in state-of-the-art baby food maker. Annabel Karmel eat your (organic) heart out. Second Child If it doesn’t come in a jar or a pouch the kid doesn’t believe it’s food. Screen Time First Child Never. Montessori-approved wooden toys chiselled by Hungarian monks, thanks. Second Child Has his own Netflix account. Tags 3minuteread, coffeebreakcatchup
How To Help Your Child During A TantrumRead More Tantrums happen. It’s normal. And it’s okay. I promise you. Whether it’s in the comfort of your own home because you won’t let them have one more episode of Peppa… Post author By The Mum Club Post date 3 May 2021 How To Help Your Child During A Tantrum Tantrums happen. It’s normal. And it’s okay. I promise you. Whether it’s in the comfort of your own home because you won’t let them have one more episode of Peppa Pig. Or if it’s in the middle of Waitrose in aisle 3, full blown kicking and screaming because you won’t buy them (yet another) plastic fantastic kids magazine with ‘stuff’ they won’t even play with. Here are my top tips on how to handle and manage those moments before you reach for the Mummy Juice at 9am…and remember, you are not alone. Why… Firstly, let’s try and understand why they do it. Chances are, they’re testing their boundaries and exploring their emotions, so how you manage them is really important. This is where you lay down the rules and show them that you’re the Boss from the get go. I always think a ‘firm but fair’ approach works well for children of any age. They could be hangry (it happens, even to us!), over whelmed, nervous, over excited, going through a big change. Try and understand why this tantrum has happened, and therefore we can manage it a bit better. Communication…how to handle it… Don’t totally freak out if they say ‘no’. It’s not always a ‘bad’ thing, and this may mean that they are strong willed, and this isn’t necessarily a negative. One day, you’ll want them to be able to stand up for themselves in the playground. But let’s teach them as and when this is okay to say. And remember…they’ll have picked this up from somewhere…!! I find the best way it to get down to their level to talk to them, this way they know you mean business. Try and rephrase what you are going to say, avoiding ‘no’ and reason with them. No matter how big or small they are, always talk it out with them. Emotions are running high when a child has a tantrum. They are still figuring out how to control their emotions (who isn’t…?!), so we need to support and comfort them. I find it best to do this once they’ve calmed down, you’ve spoken the situation through, and then you can cuddle and support them emotionally. Consistency is key… It’s key. Whether it’s you handling the situation (or shit-uation), the grandparents, your nanny, nursery, anyone….it is so important you are all on the same page. Not only will this make it easier for your little one to understand and process, but in the long run it’ll make it easier for you. And trust me, you’re in it for the long haul. Time Out…why it works & how to do it… Time Out spots are a great time and place for your child to think and reflect what has just happened. This gives them time to process that what they have done, wasn’t necessarily okay. If at this point they are having a mega meltdown, it also gives them time to calm down and just have some space. Equally, this also gives you the chance to take a couple of minutes to process the situation and how you are going to handle it. Keeping calm is vital, they will vibe this off of you. You don’t want it to become a shouting battle. Be consistent with your Time Out spot. Avoid their bedrooms, as this is their space and you don’t want them to dread going here as it’ll eventually effective their sleep. Find a designated spot and stick to it. I find a minute for every year of age is plenty. Set a timer, so that 2 minutes is actually 2 minutes and not 12! Talk to your child, ask them why they feel they’ve been sent to Time Out. Hopefully they can give you a half decent answer. If they are too little to verbally explain, still chat to them. Explain that you understand they may be feeling frustrated etc, but the way in which they acted isn’t okay. Avoid saying the word “no” as they’ll copy this. Try and rephrase the saying such as “let’s see if we can find a better way to…” or “next time, let’s try using our kind hands.” Reward charts…why it works & which ones… Reward charts are great for all ages as they can visually see they are being rewarded. This makes the end goal much more reachable, as sometimes children struggle to picture the end goal. Children’s perception of things when they can’t physically see it, can be very confusing! I believe that you should never reward for good behaviour, this is something that should always (hopefully) be happening. But let’s be realistic…children may need a little bit of encouragement in certain areas. And that’s okay! Keep the reward charts specific for their purpose and don’t generalise them. This will make it much easier for your little one to understand and strive to reach that end goal. Never take away something that they have earnt. Once they’ve earnt that reward (for whatever reason it may be!), it’s theirs forever. If you’re feeling creative, grab out those pens and paper and get making a star chart. They don’t need to be particularly fancy, but if you’re using stickers, definitely go with their flavour of the week. If not, you can get some fun personalised ones… Not fancy the typical chart? An empty jar and some marbles or dried pasta will also do the job! Talk… Talk to them and try and understand why they were feeling the way there were. Let them know you understand their emotions, but perhaps next time they need to go about it in a different way. If they’re older and don’t feel like talking, let them write it out in a diary. A problem shared, is most definitely a problem halved. Comforting them… Comforting is key, and who doesn’t love a hug?! Once your little one has calmed down, apologised if necessary, make up. Especially if this has happened just before bedtime. I know you may still be baffled by their actions at this point, but to them, to feel loved, safe and secure again is super important. This will have an impact on going forward to their actions in the future. Tags 10minuteread, Bedtimebrowse
5 Reasons Why We Love Camp BestivalRead More Post author By The Mum Club Post date 30 April 2021 5 Reasons Why We Love Camp Bestival Reviewed by TMC HQ Team and Hosts 1. The Music is incredible “I have always loved a festival, so when I had kids, I wanted them to love them as much as I do! Camp Bestival makes that easy! There are endless activities for all ages, the best music acts to dance to and the cleanest festival loos I’ve ever been in! There’s everything from family fancy dress to delicious food, crafts to try, and even a roller disco! We can’t wait to go again this year!” Jess Robinson, TMC Cornwall Host See the line up 2. The Food is SO Good (And Can Be Cheaper This Year) “I love Camp Bestival, and so do my children. My kids loved all the experiences when we went. And this year almost everything is free. You still have to pay for things like fairground rides and the wild swimming, but that’s it really. The food is also great. And this year it’s even cheaper, as all food stalls are offering kids portion sizes that cost £6 and there’s also a new children’s festival food offer, which costs £39.99 and includes everything you’d need for the weekend. Luzaan Shaw, TMC Style and Content Creator and TMC Wokingham Host Find out more 3. There’s Tons of Options for Accommodation “I camped with my 1-year-old- and 3-year-old, which was much easier than expected. We had a pre-furnished bell tent, so I think that helped but if you’re nervous about camping, you will be completely fine as they make it so easy. Equally, if you want to stay nearby and come in for the day, you can do that, it’s just trickier if you want to have a drink. Either way, you can fill your festival cup and have your kids by your side. Listening to great music and raving with your children is the most amount of fun. Yes, bedtimes and sleep schedules go out the window, but the memories you make will last forever.” TMC Editor, Lydia House See the accommodation options 4. It’s So Easy for Families “If you’re on the fence about Camp Bestival, I recommend just going for it and booking that ticket! We’ve been a few times. Once with a 2-year-old and another with a baby and a 3-year-old. It’s surprising how quickly you find your festival feet and settle into a new routine. There is constant entertainment for all, and it creates some pretty magical memories. You’re also with parents who will happily share tips to make festival life easier. As a family, we love it! The only downside is that our 3-year-old asks us weekly when they can return.” Charlotte Johns, TMC Solihull Host Find out more 5. There’s So Much to Do “I went to Camp Bestival Shropshire with my husband and two children (2 and 4). And it was one of the most amazing experiences! There was so much to see and do. Whether they were riding the Helter Skelter, making music in the forest, climbing the giant robot slide or building with Woodland Tribe, our boys were constantly entertained. And, when the weather got a bit wet, the CBeebies and soft play tent were an excellent shelter. As someone who has never camped, I was a little anxious about what it would be like, especially with young children, but it was the highlight of our summer. We’re so excited to go again this year and create even more memories.” Sophie Cole, TMC North Hertfordshire Host See the activities 6. The Car Parks are So Close By “I was surprised at how close the car parks were to the campsite. The whole process of entry and access was so easy. When I was there, you could rent trolleys to help you get your stuff to your tent. But we took our pram and loaded that up, and it was absolutely fine to use everywhere. There is a festival nanny service you can use if you want, but honestly, there’s so much for everyone to do that we didn’t feel like we needed it.” Ally Papasodaro, TMC Wimbledon Host Find out more
SOS: Save Our SleepRead More Sleep. No-one can prepare new parents for the lack of, and with so much conflicting advice out there it can be hard to feel compelled to adopt a certain routine… Post author By The Mum Club Post date 29 April 2021 SOS: Save Our Sleep Sleep. No-one can prepare new parents for the lack of, and with so much conflicting advice out there it can be hard to feel compelled to adopt a certain routine or schedule. Rosey Davidson is the founder of Just Chill Baby Sleep, an infant sleep consultancy focused on providing straight forward, no-nonsense sleep advice to parents. As the ultimate sleep guru (ask anyone who has ever worked with Rosey), we asked her for some advice on her most commonly asked questions. Setting up a great sleep environment is important, but how do you go about this and why is it so crucial? Our sleep environment is the set-up of where we sleep. We can all benefit from optimising this – babies and adults alike. First of all, it’s important to think about temperature. We all sleep a little better when things are on the cooler side. The Lullaby Trust, the baby sleep charity, say that the safest temperature for our little ones is 16-20 degrees Celsius. If you can’t control the temperature of the room, you should adapt the layers that baby is wearing. In really hot temperatures its fine for baby to just wear a vest or a nappy to bed. If you are unsure how warm your baby is its best to feel the back of their neck or their chest. It’s very normal for their hands and feet to feel a little cooler than the rest of them. We do have a guide for what to dress baby in for bed on the blog on our website. Make sure your sleep environment is as tech free as possible (no TVs etc!). The blue and white light from devices, and bright lights, can interfere with our sleep hormone melatonin. When doing nappy changes or night feeds I suggest an amber reading light, or a low lamp to avoid waking up you and your baby fully at this time. Amber, red or pink are the best colours to help us sleep. The next really helpful pointer for sleep environment is to black out those bedrooms! Darkness helps us sleep and helps facilitate the production of melatonin, our sleep hormone. Often, we are putting our babies to bed when it’s still light outside, and it gets lighter in the morning way earlier than we would like them to get up! Keeping things dark can really help them to switch off, and to stay asleep a little longer. Do you need a routine? And when and how do you go about starting one? There really isn’t a right or wrong answer to this. It’s a really personal thing as to when you might want to start having a bit of a rhythm to your day. I do believe that all humans do like to have a routine of sorts. Most babies seem to naturally fall into their own routine by around 6 months, but if they haven’t done this then you can absolute start implementing one. Many will benefit from a gentle rhythm to their day even earlier. A really great way to start is to simply aim to start the day at roughly the same time each day. This can help anchor your day, so that baby’s naps will hopefully start to follow a bit of a pattern. I think it’s really important to be able to go out and socialise a little, especially with things starting to open up a little more, but also to give baby the opportunity to sleep if they are tired. A routine shouldn’t be so rigid that you can’t get out once in a while. How do you help your baby settle themselves, if that’s the route you want to take? Is it important for them to settle themselves? It’s important to note that there is nothing wrong with helping your little one to sleep. This is perfectly normal, and in many cases not an issue at all. Some babies are fed or rocked to sleep and get a settled night, or you might find your situation quite manageable as it is. However, if you are in a situation that feels unsustainable and you would like to work on sleep, it is worth assessing how your little one falls asleep. For some babies how they fall asleep at night is how is what they come to expect between each sleep cycle when they stir (i.e., rocking, feeding, patting etc). If you want to work on them connecting sleep cycles independently then practising putting baby down awake is a good place to begin. You can do this really slowly by layering in new ‘habits’ before removing the old, or you can start a bit quicker if you feel it would be beneficial for your family. It is important to note the temperament of your baby. Some need more gradual change, and some are fairly relaxed and may adapt really well. Find a method and plan that suits you, your baby and your belief system. How can we go about managing sleep regressions? As babies and toddlers move through developmental milestones it isn’t unusual for sleep to be temporarily disrupted. They may wake more frequently at night, take shorter naps or fight falling sleep. These periods of disruption are often referred to as ‘sleep regressions’ even though they are triggered by phases of developmental progression. Whilst most babies tend to reach key milestones at roughly the same age as each other, all babies are different and will experience these phases of development when they are ready. The only real ‘regression’ that we recognise is the ‘4-month sleep regression.’ It isn’t really a regression at all, it’s actually a progression in your baby’s development. It is a good sign that your baby’s sleep cycle is maturing. This phase of change represents the biggest change in sleep that your baby will go through, making the structure of their sleep cycles much more like those of an adult. Once this change in sleep has occurred, we all, babies and adults alike, naturally wake between each of these cycles. It can be a good time to work on sleep if you want to. You can help your baby to get their sleep back on track and support them to practice how they can fall asleep themselves. Learning to sleep independently can be tricky for some babies, but it is absolutely achievable over time. Some babies will naturally adjust to their newly matured sleep patterns and sleep well again within a few weeks, others need some help to practice new skills in order to sleep well. For sleep, I’m sure a lot of us know there isn’t a one size fits all, what’s the best advice you’d give for getting support? Do some reading and research. We have some great free resources available. Remember that there is no right or wrong when it comes to sleep. We are all individuals, and you are your baby’s expert. My YouTube channel and our blog are a great place to start. I also have lots of guest lives and podcasts in my highlights on Instagram. You might find that with a few tweaks you are able to make some really great progress. If you do want some more tailored help, we offer 1:1 telephone calls and online courses. When looking for a sleep consultant it’s important that you take into account your parenting style and beliefs and choose someone who fits with that. Ultimately, you will sleep again, and you don’t have to suffer sleep deprivation long term. We all deserve a good night’s sleep! You can find out more about Just Chill Baby Sleep here: www.justchillbabysleep.co.uk Tags 10minuteread, Bedtimebrowse
8 Weird Things No One Told You About NewbornsRead More Here at TMC we pride ourselves on telling the truth. The whole truth, even when it’s ugly, strange or downright disgusting. Because let’s face it, pregnancy and birth are pretty… Post author By The Mum Club Post date 29 April 2021 8 Weird Things No One Told You About Newborns Here at TMC we pride ourselves on telling the truth. The whole truth, even when it’s ugly, strange or downright disgusting. Because let’s face it, pregnancy and birth are pretty peculiar things, and it doesn’t stop there. Want to know what the books won’t tell you about newborns? Forewarned is forearmed… Attachment Issues Start Early (Literally) Remember the 90s, when your home phone had a curly cord that prevented you from wandering further than a 5ft radius from its base? Well, that, only the base is the placenta (still firmly wedged inside you) and the cord is attached to the screaming new human you’ve just pushed out. Sometimes, the cord is slightly too short, meaning when you try to pull the babe up to your chest, they spring back as if they’re attached to a bungee cord. So, you just have to… sit there. Legs akimbo, waiting for the cord to stop pulsing so your totally grossed out partner can cut it with a pair of children’s craft scissors (spoiler: it’s harder than he thinks). They Come Out Covered in Crap (Again, Literally) the kid emerges bone dry (and about 12 weeks old). The truth is, they’re covered in all kinds: blood, poo (theirs, not yours), and vernix; the white sticky substance that covers their skin while in the womb. Your first inclination (naturally) would be to give them a good scrub before dressing them in your White Company onesie of choice; but you’ll be told to wait a week first, giving the vernix time to soak in naturally. It’s the equivalent of having a facial on an expensive spa day, then being told you have to wait for three hours before going in the sauna afterwards. You’ll want to do the right thing, but you’ll more than likely end up giving in after three days and whacking them in the bath. The Umbilical Cord Looks Like a Witchetty Grub The first time you change the kid’s nappy, it might surprise you to discover two inches of umbilical cord where a neat little belly button should be, clamped with what looks like a sandwich bag clip from Lakeland. Three days in, it’ll smell like… well, exactly what it is, which is dead flesh (TMI?). You’re still not allowed to wash the baby, and spend every nappy change terrified that you’ll knock it off and curse them with an outie for the rest of their life. It will fall off, eventually. Some people even keep them, but those people are weird and we’re not sure we want to be friends with them. Their Head Has a Pulse Ever wondered why people are obsessed with protecting the baby’s head? Well, it might be because there’s a large gaping hole there, where their skull hasn’t fused together yet (aka the fontanel) meaning that their brain is essentially exposed. Terrified yet? Yep, us too. Baby Girls Have Periods Around day three, you might notice drops of blood in your baby girl’s nappy. This will scare the shit out of you but try not to panic; a spike in maternal estrogen levels can simulate a female foetus’s uterus, producing a mini-period within the first week of their life. Not weird AT ALL. The First Poo is Like Thick Black Tar It’s a pretty well-known fact that babies poo a lot, but what you might not know is that the very first one comes out like treacle. And not in a good way. You could genuinely lay tarmac with this stuff; it’s dark, sticky and will take out an entire pack of Water Wipes in one go. Acne Doesn’t Wait For Puberty We’ve all woken up with a giant spot on our forehead and new-borns are no different: baby acne is a thing. Apparently, the magical properties of breastmilk clear it right up, so resist the urge to squeeze and slather on some of that liquid gold instead. Sometimes They’re Hairy If your kid decides to make an early appearance, don’t be surprised if they come out with more back hair than your dad. Officially known as lanugo, this is the first hair your baby’s body makes, and plays a vital role in protecting skin and regulating body temperature in the womb. Don’t crack out the Veet so soon (kidding), it will fall out naturally after a few weeks. We know we shouldn’t have to say this, but don’t shave your baby (something our midwife once said to us, which made us think only one thing: someone once did). Tags 5minuteread, Yournaptimeknowhow
10 Parenting Moments That Leave Us Seething With RageRead More We used to think we were pretty chill; then we had a baby. The Mum rage is real people, and we can’t blame it all on postpartum hormones… Post author By The Mum Club Post date 23 April 2021 10 Parenting Moments That Leave Us Seething With Rage We used to think we were pretty chill; then we had a baby. The Mum rage is real people, and we can’t blame it all on postpartum hormones… When Someone Parks in Parent & Child Who Isn’t a Parent and Does Not Have a Child We endured 9 months of pregnancy and ripped our lady bits in two to earn this parenting perk; and we’ll be damned if a spotty teenager in a sodding Vauxhall Corsa gets to enjoy those 2 extra feet of door-opening space. When Another Kid Hits Your Kid Your voice might be saying: ‘Oh don’t worry, they all do it, he gives as good as he gets!’ but your brain is thinking ‘you stay away from my baby you little shit’. When Your Toddler Waves At Someone And They Don’t Wave Back Who hurt you?! How could you resist the greeting of my adorable baby’s chubby little hand?! When People Get Your Baby’s Gender Wrong A pink dress and a giant bow isn’t enough of a clue for you people?! How about the blanket with her name on it or the sippy cup that says ‘Mummy’s Little Princess?’ NO? REALLY?! When Your Baby Hurts You For someone who can barely hold a spoon, toddlers can’t half pack a powerful punch. When they’re not cutting their teeth on your nipples they’re ripping chunks out of your already-balding-postpartum-head. When Your Mother in Law Favours The Other Grandchildren We know it’s probably us being totally irrational, entirely unreasonable etc etc, but is it too much to ask that everyone in the whole world thinks our child is the most special human being on the entire planet? When Strangers Touch Your Newborn Even pre-Covid this was 10/10 not okay Hun. We have no idea who you are, or where your probably filthy germ-infested hands have been, but back the hell off and STEP AWAY FROM THE BABY. When Older Kids Won’t Give Your Kid a Turn Ever stared out a 10-year-old because they wouldn’t get their skinny little bottom off the baby swing? We have, and we have absolutely zero shame. When Someone Judges You For Feeding Your Baby Oh hey there! These are breasts! 50% of the population have them! We haven’t whacked them out for shits and giggles, we actually require them to keep our tiny human alive. Move along people. When Someone Comments On Your Baby Body ‘You’re so big! When are you due?’ The kids in pre-school Karen, go mind your goddamn business. Tags 3minuteread, coffeebreakcatchup
